He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Cucciolo

18700265872_b4362f573c_hRecently in Trieste, Italy, a nice man took his dog for a walk — and then did all the walking himself. We don’t know why he did that, but it was molto gentile of him.

18517284958_614aaf4d32_z

Via Antonio Marano.

Take Another Little Pizza My Heart

O pizza, I am your slave. Though your cheesy aroma fills my senses, my search for you remains fruitless (which is fine because I don’t like fruit).

6D77TCs

Torment me no longer, pepperoni-encrusted temptress! For you, I would journey across desolate deserts, majestic mountains, and decorative driftwood!

R0290317-Edit

AT LAST! THOU ART MINE! Now to catch up with the rest of you, om nom nom…

21

From “Pizza in the Wild,” a photo collection from Jonpaul Douglass.

 

The Straight Story

Strapped into the cramped cockpit, the drag racer awaits his moment. Behind him: a nitromethane-fueled monster. Before him: the most important quarter mile he will ever know. He grips the wheel until it becomes a part of him, an extension of his mind, man and machine aimed with pinpoint precision down a straight line to glory. Even a slight bending of that line, the faintest variance left or right, could cost him victory — or even his life. The countdown begins: first red, then yellow, then green, and…

BKpzqLT

“The morning dew perfectly captured my dog’s erratic freedom run,” says Redditor Babolattack.

Behold, the Mighty Triceratops

A gentle giant in an age of monsters, the Triceratops roamed the earth during the Late Cute-acious period. Although a peaceful plant-eater, Triceratops could be a fearsome adversary, thanks to its tough protective skull and its three lethal horns, which brought instant death to all who angered it… starting with the guy who glued them on in the first place.

0rDsq1F

“My dog has clearly had enough of my crap,” admits Redditor BIGMc_LARGEHUGE.

The Moment of Truth

This was it, Henrietta thought. A fight to the death. It’s either him or me. Survival of the fittest. Two hens enter, one hen leaves. If I back down now, everyone at the henhouse will call me… dog.

UsJZKsZ

Via Reddit.

Missed Connections

Me: Northbound “L” train Thursday evening, trying to work on laptop. You: Two seats ahead, staring at me in distracting way. I moved to different compartment, you followed and kept staring. Changed trains twice, you still there staring. Would sincerely like to meet you, will be in front of Museo Regional de Magallanes, Punta Arenas, Chile, this Saturday afternoon. PS I may be delayed so keep waiting.

ae4x5Uy

“Girl on this train was givin’ me eyes the whole ride,” says Redditor ShinglersLisp.

Tell Them I’ll Call Back!

“(Sheesh, it never fails. I’ve got my duckie, I put on my favorite CD of ambient wind chimes and waterfalls, I get all comfy in the tub — and that’s when the phone rings.)”

oq98hTA

“Max is having a spa day. I just received this from the vet,” says Redditor In4theKill.

HULK SNORGLE!

If you’ll be watching the latest Avengers movie, be sure to stick around for the customary post-credits scene, in which Captain America and Hawkeye console a confused Bruce Banner, whose latest experiment to control his rampaging Hulk tendencies only leads to even stranger results.

cover

Via Cute Emergency.

I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won

a84HZFdProblem? I ain’t got no problem, man. I can quit anytime I want.

“When I was done laughing and taking pictures, I helped him clean his beard,” says Redditor K1774B.

John Anderton! You Could Use a Puppy Right About Now!

Shoppers who took a microchipped leaflet at London’s Westfield Stratford mall got a new friend: Barley, a shelter pup who would “follow” them from billboard to billboard. It was all part of a campaign for Battersea Dogs and Cats Home.


Via AdWeek. In case you need a little help with the headline reference…

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 17,451 other followers