A Familiar Ring

To earn extra cash for dog treats, Harold would sometimes rent himself out as a lawn ornament.

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“This resident of Caerwys managed to bark like fury and still keep hold of the play ring!” says Flickr-er Andrew.

Why Hasn’t He Called?

I… (snif!) I just don’t understand it! He said he loved me! That I was the only one for him! (sniffle!) Now I just want to drown my sorrows in ice cream and watch Lifetime Network! (baaaaaaw!)


Meanwhile, at the Ernst Fleetman Institution for the Study of Uncontrollable Sprinting…

“SoBeckyandGailfromAccountingaskedaboutyoulastweekand (huff, puff) Itoldthemyouweredoingmuchbetterandthatyou’dprobablybe (huff, puff) outinaweekortwobutfranklyIdon’tseeanynoticablechangein (huff, puff) yourconditionAreyoutakingthosepillsthedoctorgaveyou? (huff, puff)”

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Next Week, on The Guiding Leash

With their yearlong, multimillion-dollar divorce nearly finalized, Francis and Foofy Finklestein divide their remaining property: three boxes of paper clips and a Yanni CD. Winner gets the paper clips.

Meanwhile, Melanie Boogerwiper confronts shady blackmailer Emil von Waffle, who claims to have photographic proof that Melanie once owned an entire set of the “Police Academy” movies.

And in a secluded room at the No Names Please Motel on the edge of town, forbidden lovers Lance and Sheila engage in a stimulating discussion on the unknowable nature of the cosmos…

Via Petteri Sulonen.

You Know Your Pillow’s Too Big When…

… you walk across it and have to stop halfway for a nap.

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“I was fostering a puppy for the SPCA. She was kinda small,” says Redditor twentygreen.

But Then They Fought Over the Last Meatball

Get ready to swoon as a Boston Terrier and an artful Dodgers fan recreate one of Disney’s most romantic moments, the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp.

How to Mess With a Dalmatian

Sit her down, take her by the collar, look her forcefully in the eye, and say “You’re not really a dalmatian, you know. We’ve been painting those spots on you every night while you’re asleep.”

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Via Son of Groucho.

Talk Like a Pirate Day, It Be!

Ahoy there, mateys! September 19 be known as International Talk Like a Pirate Day in these waters, ye scurvy swab! So stow yer landlubber lingo and fill the comments with ye best pirate-ese!  ARRRR!

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Via modernrockstar on Flickr.

Sandwich? What Sandwich?

I had no idea you were eating a sandwich. I’m just standing here, mentally cataloging my squeaky toys, and totes not even caring that you’re eating a moist, filling, savory sandwich. Pinky swear.

Via Vine.

Dance Dance Repudiation

Despite her skill as a kibble dancer, Cornelia Corgi was disappointed to be eliminated from Dancing with the Stars when she failed to grasp the concept of the cha-cha.

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Via Refeia on Flickr.

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