No, I Haven’t Seen Your Lipstick

Why would you even ask me that? I’m insulted! Every time something goes missing around here, everybody looks at me! For your information, I don’t even wear that shade — it doesn’t flatter my complexion and it tastes terrib… oops.

Says Valerie S.: “This is our Howie, a 9 month old male shi tzu/maltese.  Howie (or Howard when he has been naughty) raided my purse one morning and found a tube of lipstick I haven’t used in over a year.  This is what I woke up to that morning!”



  1. Wow, this looks just like my Abby. I’m going to keep my lipstick out of reach, for sure. Such a cutie with that pink face and feets.


  3. victoreia says:

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s hilarious!

  4. Andi from NC says:

    Ok, this made me laugh out loud! Too funny!! The look on his face is priceless – I would believe anything he says!

  5. Queen Zola says:

    Too cute, but I don’ t even want to think about what the carpet looked like.

  6. Tracie Bettenhausen says:

    I love the perfect color placement! SO STINKIN’ CUTE!!!

  7. Wow, that’s right up there with the time my pomeranian chewed up a pack of watercolor pencils.

    Something tells me lipstick is going to be a heck of a lot harder than watercolor paints to get out of white dog hair.

  8. Mod-in-Training says:

    [How odd.

    That’s exactly how *all* my pupdogs look a few minutes after I return home from a cocktail party.


  9. muttluver says:

    HAHAHA! I love it! He’s all, “Is there more?”

  10. I hope ‘Howard’ didn’t get sick from his little treat! My shih tzu will eat practically anything she finds on the floor (if its small enough) but luckily she’s not curious enough to go digging around in purses.

    You’re adorable Howie!

  11. how bad is it that I’m not considering attacking *my* white shih tzu with a tube of lipstick?

  12. Sweet Ceiling Cat, the carnage! *clutches chest*

  13. btw, I lurve that he’s got the perfect first position feet going on. I can just see him prancing up to greet you.

    And leaving “Wine Not” colored footprints all the way.

  14. Valerie S. says:

    You will all be happy to know the Lipstick Bandit did not have any gastrointestinal episodes due to any unintentional digestion, although a hot pink pile of **** was found on the lawn the next day. All evidence of said lipstick has been removed from the scene of the crime. I ❤ Goo Gone and Oxy Clean!

  15. Valerie S. says:

    corianne-you noticed the first position too! How funny is that! And yes, he does prance…I love puppies…

  16. hellochicadee says:


  17. How hilarious! What a precious little guy and I love how he applied his make up evenly to both paws. Such a cutie! There is no way I would have been able to be mad at Howie over this, I would have collapsed in laughter.

  18. Hehe, I like his little pink paws, too 🙂

  19. The Dread Pirate Pinkbeard – fearlessly raids low-lying purses attacking innocent lipsticks while hoping to score a hoard of gum.

  20. Reminds me of the evening I spent on the phone to the Bic product helpline trying o find out if their ballpoint pens were non-toxic while a blue-pawed, blue-muzzled beagle sat and grinned at me.

  21. Bagpipe_Mouse says:

    I feel ‘ya on the hot pink poo! My pup once ate the better part of a styrofoam container that had held fajitas. The next day she dropped a poo that was almost entirely styrofoam. She looked at it like,”what is that and why did it come out of my butt?!” She poo-ed styrofoam for 4 days!

  22. skippymom says:

    Pink poo! Pink poo! I want to see this! If I put pink food coloring in my cats’ food, would they poo pink? I could have them make different colors of poo for different occasions! Such possibilities!
    (I think maybe I need more excitement in my life.)

  23. Oh I would have such trouble being mad at that little guy, he’s so stinkin cute.

  24. binky-mama says:


  25. OMG! That is too funny!!!!! Look at that guilty little face!

  26. marthava says:

    Hovertext keeled me. I was a Color Me Beautiful consultant back in the day. You made my day, NTMTOM.

  27. victoreia says:

    And I thought blue paw-prints on my desk was amusing!

  28. 260Oakley says:

    Well, we’ll need the pinking shears to trim this one.

  29. Howie wanted to go for the 80’s punk look.

  30. Come to think of it, he looks an awful lot like Poochie!

  31. Fabulous shade Howie!

  32. LOL Best part of hover text is that Pink is a winter color actually…. ROFLMAO Mike you are the funniest guy!

    And this cutie Patootie would get nothing but love from me.
    You are one lucky gal Valerie S.
    Pink Pop can only be cute!

  33. He was just getting ready for his date with erm, Petunia here:

  34. Ruffian9 says:

    Howies (fantastic name!) expression is KILLING me!

  35. earlybird1 says:

    Hee hee! Ewok lips/teeth!

  36. DillPig says:

    It’s the teef, the tiny teef and the delicately turned out pawsitude that kills me *ded*!

  37. Oh Howie, why?

  38. Melissa says:

    I love his expression. He’s all “what?” He really does look like an Ewok in drag.

  39. Becky, Bubba's mum says:

    Laugh out loud, truly….and still laughing. This is an awesome picture.

  40. Every fashionista worth their Valentino’s know this season matching your fingernail color to your lipstick is a must !

  41. Woomeggie says:

    Quite an adorable pic… it made me snort. But Melissa’s description – “Ewok in drag” – made me LOL.

  42. So hilarious! I laughed out loud when I saw this remembering my own dog doing the same thing with a pink highlighter pen. She also claimed her own innocence while covered with bright pink evidence. I wish I would have thought to snap her photo.

  43. JohnnieCanuck says:

    Clearly a metro kind of guy.

  44. I made sure to tell my husband that our Cairn is not the only male dog to eat lipstick. Reilly however at least has darker fur! lol So cute!

  45. kibblenibble says:

    DillPig: I, too, am entranced by the exposed teef. Also, please to note the beeyooteefull eyelashes!! 🙂

  46. Howie Lover says:

    Oh Howie! How could anyone ever get mad at Howie?
    One shouldn’t leave their purses around to be gotten into. KWIM Valerie?
    So you see there is no one to blame but yourself.
    Now go give Howie a cookie.

  47. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! And I cracked up at the pink poo — thank you for reassuring us all Howie was no worse for the lipstick.

  48. Okay, my name is Howard. It’s my name when I’m being good, it’s my name when I’m being bad — heck, it’s my name when I’m being totally sexy. Why couldn’t she name her little shit-zu “Josh” or “Darren”?

  49. ZOMBIE puppie!!!! arrggh argh arrrr….

  50. THAT is hysterical and perfectly captured!

    I rate this a triple guffaw! ;D ;D ;D

  51. At least he’s smart enough to match his lipstick and pumps before he goes out.

  52. Hon Glad says:

    Howie needs some blue eye shadow to finish the look.

  53. He’s just a cutie! I would not be able to stop laughing after seeing this.

    Please give him a hug from me!

  54. I looked at this pic again and I can’t stop laughing. We only have one time around in this life, and any being that is so cute and funny gets praise and love! (and a cookie)

  55. Valerie, I share my home with two shih tzus. I am very familiar with the prancing. It makes me smile every time!

  56. So young, and already in trouble… *shakes head in disbelief* Tss tss, youth today…


  57. BStrange says:

    Aw! Add me to the “he looks like an Ewok in drag” party! His pinkly-shaded feet look cartoonishly unreal.

  58. OMG that is soooo cute. I’ve got a Cav/Bichon pup at the mo, also extremely cute but she likes to investigate and eat, dare I say, smellier things.

  59. Rachael says:

    Who knew Howie was a secret cross-dresser?! 😀

    That face could literally get away with anything in my house. I would have to smooch his silly pink face, then fetch him a cookie immediately. That picture should be framed and displayed proudly. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

  60. O NO He/she/it DI-unt!!! says:

    um skippymom — WADR

    (“With All Due Respect”=the phrase “we” pull out of our hats when we want to quickly soothe the nerves of someone who ……..”might” …um….)

    (Extremely NASAL, Emily Litella, SNL/”Weekend Update” voice — and if you hafta ask what that means, take my word for it, you wouldn’t enjoy the punchline as much):

    “Never mind!!!!:

  61. Erica in Ithaca says:

    Hilarious!! I love eet!

  62. mandy_Reeves says:

    Hahaha! I have my own prancing 4 yr old tzu.

    One day, I was missing a jar of peanut butter…then all of a sudden i hear this skritch scratch noise…I thought….ah well Dottie must be playing with her raw hide…10 min later I hear *slurp slorp lick lick smack lick* She found the jar of peanut butter, gotten off the lid, and had her face buried in the jar , trying to get to the remains of the peanut butter. Turns out, It had fell off the table some how, and rolled between the wall and couch.

  63. Elisha B. says:

    Cute pic, but my question is why would you have a lipstick in your purse for a year and never use it or throw it out? Yuck! Hope the puppy does get too sick.

  64. Elisha B. says:

    Oops….does NOTget too sick….sorry, fingers are slow today!

  65. skippymom – let me know how that food coloring expirement goes… I’ll try it after you do. 😉

  66. Reminds of when my sugar glider ate a strawberry. It looked like something *exploded* in her cage.

  67. Colonel Jenna says:

    I look at this photo, and I think of how our old whippet used to eat my (clear) lip balms on a regular basis, and I suddenly feel *really* lucky.

  68. Valerie S. says:

    Just had to let you know how our little pup got his name. We are a curling family, and so are the people who gave us Howie. He is named after the world curling champion Russ Howard, and is trained to curling terms, ie. ‘hurry hard’ (a sweeping term) means to come, ‘button’ (the center white circle on the curling ice) means to sit, etc. ‘Takeout’ (to hit a curling stone out of the house, or rings) means…well, I’ll let you figure that one out!

    And, just for everybody’s info, Howie chose to experiment with lipstick two days after he was fixed. Could it be that he was trying to tell us something???

  69. marthava says:

    @JohnnieCanuck – lolol

  70. Valerie,
    I have to laugh every time I look at that picture. He is the most adorable little guy. I guess he got his personality from his mother Miss Naughty Pants as she is known. I love it!!

  71. this reminds me of when i used to teach elementary school art. whenever i broke out the kid-safe paste that smelled deliciously of mint (what sadistic glue manufacturer would choose *that* aroma??) with the kindergarteners, there’d always be at least one child with paste all around his mouth giving me this same expression. “who me? did i eat any paste? no, MA’AM, i didn’t! not me!” no matter how diligently i tried to be in policing them! (there’s only so much control you can have over 28 kindergarteners with no assistant.)

    and before i get nuffed, let me just say, this paste was completely safe and non-toxic!! just gross.

  72. That is too cute – you really should frame that picture – it’s a keepsake.

  73. LOL I also just noticed that this dog is a shih-tese


  74. Naturalady says:


  75. Heather says:

    What a naughty monkey!!!

  76. Looks like The Joker

  77. (I think maybe I need more excitement in my life.)

    Was I wrong to read this as “I think maybe I need more excrement in my life”? xD

    Also, when my Flat-coated Retriever was a pup, he got into some non-toxic pink paint…..he came out with painted toenails & matching lipstick. It’s always a pink substance, isn’t it?

  78. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Time for a baf!

  79. “a tube of lipstick I havent used in over a year.” Im curious as to why that was mentioned. The shade is a bit much…

  80. skippymom says:

    Oh my goodness, just checking back to read later comments. “I think maybe I need more excrement in my life”–I am now choking on my yogurt with tears streaming down my face. Thank you, Roketto.
    I think maybe I need more brightly colored excrement in my life….

  81. who couldn’t use a little more colorful poo?

  82. everett says:

    me thinks he’s just a little boy doggy that woke up one day wanting to see what it was like to be a girl doggy for a day….

  83. It looks fake and stupid, like all these shopoodle, pooyorks, etc

  84. BStrange says:

    The sugar glider story made me think of the “frog in a blender” animation. Eew.

    Valerie S. – He may have been! Oh, and when I hear “takeout” I don’t think “curling”, I think “food”, so that made me laugh and go “aack” at the same time. 😉

  85. puddlepeppers says:

    yeah, I read “excitement” as “excrement”, too. The Top-Work Warblers
    beat me to it!

  86. Maybe Shih’s born with it, maybe it’s maltese ;3

  87. @Aquamarine, I’ve often thought every kindergarten teacher should be assigned two border collies.

  88. Parrot_Crazy says:

    First let me say this is one of the cutest puppy pictures I’ve ever seen! I agree with those who said to frame it and display it proudly! I couldn’t have been mad at this gorgeous little face either!
    I’d also like to say to those questioning the shade of the lipstick and the amount of time it spent unused in the bottom of a purse – who cares?!?! I don’t think this photo was posted to get feedback on lipstick shades or how often one cleans her purse out – it’s about an adorable puppy covered in pink lipstick and looking too cute for words!

  89. jrochest says:

    He’s delightful, and the picture is hysterical. I’m not going to question the shade of lipstick or the length of time it was in the purse! But do be careful that he doesn’t get into something worse (for him!) next time — I just met a woman who lost her toy pooch after he ate a bag of candy out of her son’s backpack. It’s amazing how badly fairly benign stuff can effect their system; they’re just so tiny.

  90. aww this is amazing!!

  91. Diane Auger says:

    It must be a Maltese thing…I have 3 and one of them went in my pocketbook and took out my checkbook and a pen and exploded it on my new couch and ate my checks. I was home too – outside snowblowing and cam in to that 🙂 Its true, you can’t stay mad for very long and i found rubbing alcohol took out all the ink.Thanks for sharing pix – it is very funny.

  92. @Theresa: SWEET idea!! Wish I’d thought of it, about 20 years ago, before I left teaching in an attempt to regain some state of normal attitude towards children, and less judgment against their (probably overloaded) parents.

    Border collies are AWESOME!!!! I can so see them saying, “No, Jimmy, the sink’s over here, we’re all washing our hands now….right, stay together, single file….”

  93. Too funny! I have a Shih Tzu Bijon mix that did the same thing Tuesday night. They looked so much alike…perhaps it was some unknown shih tzu holiday where they were supposed to get dress up. LOL

  94. thats so sad!!!!!!

  95. jazmella says:

    lol! I’ve been literally laughing for over 5 minutes straight at this picture.

  96. Valerie S. says:

    Sherry, I think there was a Shih Tzu Shindig scheduled! LOL

  97. LOL its Billy Connelly!

  98. But much cuter of course :o)

  99. Really interesting article! Honestly!

  100. Howie is the cutest!!!!

  101. I have a shih-tzu/maltese mix too! They are absolutely the cutest and best dogs, even if they do get into a spot of trouble once in a while.

  102. Barbara Ryczak says:

    What a adorable pic. Howie is a perfect picture of my little Miss Molly right down to the little overbite. Molly would do the same thing if she ever got a hold of the lipstick.

  103. lynette says:

    Howie looks so much like my Belle did at that age. She, too, is quite the fashionista ~ chewed one of my daughter’s raspberry lip glosses and “dyed” herself pink. ~Took 3 baths and still she was a little pink. 🙂