And They Spent Their Honeymoon Swimming up Niagara Falls

From the archives of Everything Is Terrible comes the uplifting climax to Zeus and Roxanne, offering up these enduring truths: Dolphins uphold the sanctity of marriage, dogs look great in bow ties, and Steve Guttenburg was in a lot of movies.

And Now, Here’s Yakov Smirnoff to Tell That One Joke He Knows

America, what a country! Your rich people, like the Paris Hilton, I always am seeing them carry tiny little dogs. In Russia, tiny little dog carry you!

Does Your Cat Food Stack Up?

It will if you serve Stack’n Snacks, for a balanced meal in every sense of the word.

Conga-Leecking!

OK, so then this happened…

Up Next: Whooping Cranes Who Look Like David Tennant

An excerpt from Otters Who Look Like Benedict Cumberbatch: A Visual Examination by Red Scharlach.

     

And Now… This.

For some things, Ant, there are no words.

Bears Repeating

Time for some cute nightmare fuel, in the form of this animation from artist and composer Cyriak, which looks like the result of a nuclear meltdown at Build-A-Bear.

How to Locate the End of the Universe

It’s pretty simple, actually: Drive about five miles past the secret alien landing strip, turn left at the Repository of Missing Left Socks, travel due up into the New Jersey Time/Space Wormhole (toll) and when you come to the mariachi band playing “Yellow Bird” to a beluga whale, you’ve reached the end of the universe.

Posted to our Twitter feed by SunnyinSyracuse. (Update: Also sent in by Theresa!)

Shake that Shell!

Fun Fact: According to sender-inner Cassandra D., turtle shells are more sensitive than you might expect. Now throw in a toothbrush and a thumping techno beat (warning: loud), and you’ve got today’s monthly WTF* of the Week!

* That’s “wiggling turtle footsies,” we’ll have you know.

The Adventures of Bizorro!

From our WTF* File comes that champion of justice, defender of the downtrodden, Bizorro! Charging to the rescue atop his mighty steed as they swiftly… well, all right, maybe not so swiftly… erm, frankly, “charging” may be overselling it a little…

* Waddling Tortoise Ferry

UPDATE: Belated thanks to JoshN. for sending this to us!

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