Itty. Bitty. Friends.

Cuteporter A.sal sent this in. “You should probably have this girl make official renderings of the animals on CO. Just saying. You’re welcome. LOVE your site.” We’re not endorsing this seller, of course- but let’s face it, these are MAXIMUM REDONK!

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Why Do I Have Hands on My Ears?

Well, how else am I supposed to make soundwaves?

Charmed, I’m Sure

Attention: You are about to watch an ostrich dancing to Celtic music played on a tin whistle. You may experience a temporary feeling of disorientation, as if nothing in the universe makes sense. This is normal. Turn off the Internet and go outside.

Animal Reflections: 1 of 3

Sometimes, you have to confront yourself; really look at yourself.

Then run away and promise never to do it again.

“I have no doubt that you will watch this repeatedly. My friend Natalie’s puppy sees his reflection for the first time. Ridiculously awesome.” Thank you sender inner Katrina L.!

Pick! Your! Punchline!

In comedy terms, the photo below is a “target-rich environment,” so bizarre that no one caption can do it justice. So scroll to the poll below and… Pick! Your! Punchline! (or add your own.)

Via William M. via Reddit.

Hey, it Worked in that Pixar Movie

Day 4: Still not floating. Felt momentarily lighter, but that turned out to be just gas. Will continue experiments tomorrow with more balloons.

Curtis S. tells us: “This tortoise lives at a pet supply store called Animal Kingdom in Brewster, NY. His name is Turbo and he’s allowed to wander the store with balloons attached so everyone knows his location. He’s very sweet.”

And Now, a Few Quick Impressions

First up, I’d like to do my impression of a chicken… Thank you.

Next, I’d like to do Piers Morgan trying to interview a chicken, but finding it hard to get a word in edgewise… Thank you, thank you very much.

And finally, you know those ancient monks who used to take vows of silence? You ever wonder what would happen if one of them got into a frank exchange of views with a chicken? I think it might go something like this…

Visiting Hours

“… and they keep hiding his cigarettes, but Grandpa finds them every time. Oh, and Stacy and that boy from the DQ had a fight, and now she’s not going to the junior prom. But the good news is, Mom says if you make parole in June, that nice Mr. Ferguson will give you your old job back.”


Via Tumblr.

I’m Not As Think As You Drunk I Am!

Now, give me back my keys. I can totally mess you up.

Good times You Tube user abhishek72457!

Meanwhile, at Dr. Sherman Kelfloffer’s Holistic Poolside Dental Clinic…

“… and that’s when my daughter, apropos of nothing (wider, please), announces she’s going out trash-can tipping with some boy from college (hold still, thanks) I’ve never even met! Well, I tore into her… say, you’ve stopped flossing, haven’t you?”

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