They Only Love You When You’re Fat

Yeah, that was me: Rollo, “The Pudgy Panda.” I was the star of the zoo — T-shirts, my own website, thousands of kids a day come to see me. Glorious, man.

But I was getting really winded, so I get on this weight loss kick: a little cardio in the morning, watching the diet, you know. And just when I start to feel good, that’s when management wants a meeting. They’re “taking the panda exhibit in a new direction,” that’s all they tell me. All I know is, if it weren’t for my cousin letting me crash at his place, I’d be on the street.


Via Delightfully Manic.