Browse enough message boards, or open enough e-mails, and odds are you’ve seen a few animated GIF images — tiny video clips full of endlessly-repeating hilarity, their sources long forgotten. Below, a few favorites (about 2MB each):
(The following has been typed in Overact-O-Vision™, which will cause you to hear it in the Emperor’s voice from “Return of the Jedi.” Discontinue use if you experience dizziness, tingling in extremities, or urge to chew scenery.)
Goooood, my young apprentice. I can feel the “squee” swelling within you now. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.
I am defenseless. Take your Jedi weapon. Strike me down with all of your redonkulousness and your journey towards the cute side will be complete!
From Animals With Lightsabers, found by Bill S.
… we meet again! You look surprised to see me, you villainous swine…
Perhaps you’re wondering how I escaped your thugs in Tangiers…
And that bomb in the Swiss embassy — that was meant for me, I assume?
It was the girl who warned me — you should never have trusted her…
And now it’s the end of the line for you, evildoer!
The sender-inner? The name’s W. — Robin W.
Once again, as he has done for centuries, the cursed vampire rises from his grave to feast. Mad with hunger, the wretched fiend spies his next victim, an unsuspecting villager. He waits in the shadows; his prey draws nearer… and then, with inhuman speed, the monster strikes!
More monkeyshines at the Daily Mail.
Those fragile, squinting eyes; those tentative first steps; that precious moment when they look to you with faces that radiate pure love. And before you know it…
… they’re engaging in scandalous butt-biting (in plain sight of the entire Ladies Aid Society and Sewing Circle, mercy!), smashing up the Mercedes and calling you at 3AM to bail them out of Juvenile Hall.
Kids these days, Linda G.
I apologize in advance to all you well-rounded music aficionados out there for my dissonant genre-mashing; my own tastes are… eclectic. But it’s Saturday, it’s gorgeous, and darned if I don’t feel like a little Pawl, Yawn, Jawrge and Ringtail this morning. ♫ Here comes the sun, doodle-oo-doo… wait, no, Meg’s got a better idea:
We can make this whole damn thing work out
With a little nom, we can lay it down
Can’t you feel this website exploding?
[Sing in Sir Paul McCartney voice]
XTreme Cute Overload Nom Close-Up [XCONCU]:
Sender-Inner Lori W. FOUND ANOTHER ONE!
Nooooooooooooo! Everyone hates me there, and they make me feel stupid because I can’t use Excel, and I swear the copier knows when it’s me and it always eats my TPS reports, and besides the news said we were gonna have a snow day!
This is in no way autobiographical, Tina K.