Remember, kids, no matter how hard you try to set the perfect mood — romantic violin music, kung-fu fight sound effects, strangers watching on closed-circuit TV — never try to get frisky on the first date.
Hey, quit it! I wasn’t ready!
No fair! You big cheater!
Photo credit: John Tuggle
Yeah I’m FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY EIGHT GRAMS SO WHAT
Don’t worry, I forgive you *wink of death*
I didn’t realize they were so evil at such a young age, Alexa G.
By Jeffery Osterblaargh, Mrs. McNulty’s Sekond Grade
Ok so this is astory about the time that I ate a humin bean all by myself. Wun day I was hungry. And there was this humin bean walking down the street.
And so I desided to eat him for dinner. Because I am a feroshus pradider pridit eating bear and because everybody is skeerd of me because I am so mean.
The humin bean was skeerd. He tried to get away but I was to big and strong for him. He cried and cried for help, but I dint listen because I was so hungry.
And he was so delishus that next I ate a whole busload of first graders, and then I ate a kangaroo, and my piano teacher, and Batman, and some ice cream, and…
I hear that special school’s really nice, Maggie S.
Ehn! [Feet running in the air rabbit-style]
Ehn! [STOP ITTT! MOM!!!]
Sender-Inner Nicole M. says kittens Sig and Remi take turns with couch pinning.
The first rule of Play Fight Club is: You do not talk about Play Fight Club.
The second rule of Play Fight Club is: You do not talk about Play Fight Club.
Third rule of Play Fight Club: If someone yelps, goes limp, or taps out, the play fight is over.
Fourth rule: Only two pups to a play fight.
Fifth rule: One play fight at a time, fellas.
Sixth rule: The play fights are soft kronches only. No shirt, no shoes, no chomping.
Seventh rule: Play fights will go on as long it’s fun.
And the eighth and final rule: If this is your first time at Play Fight Club, you have to fight.
Now that’s what I call a play date, Amy S.
…And the hijinx ensue! Another terrific episode awaits you below.
Ladies and Gentlemen, “Snow Business, Part 1.” [hand waves over YouTube screen]
[Throwing snowball in the direction of] Catherine J.