Mr. Tough Guy

"Oh boy, ohboyohboyohboy … lemmie at ‘im, boss, lemmie at ‘im!  I’ll moidalize the bum!"

Eating in MY field -- who does he think he is?

"That’s right, boss!  We’re goin’ in for the kill!  Now just leggo my collar and you’ll see some serious butt-kicking, yes sirree!  Watch me mop the floor with this no-good, pencil-necked …"

Hmmm, THIS should be interesting...

"Mnnnnyeeeessssss?  You were saying …?"

Ahmm, errrr ... well, that is ... what I meant to say was ...

"… so remember, shorty, (smack!) this is MY field! (smack!)  And now, if you’ll excuse me …"

Y-yes, sir ... T-thank you, sir ...

"Well, hey there, darlin’—How you doin’?  Whaddya say you ditch these dogs and join me at a little party I’m throwing?"

It's a stag party, naturally.

BONUS PHOTOS!  I couldn’t quite work these into my silly little story, but they’re too good not to share, so enjoy:

Nice composition in this shot!

It's a sniff-a-thon!

THAT … is five different flavors of awesome, Laura M.

Elephant ‘Tocks? or…Really Large Body with Trunk?

Look, there’s an elephant in the room, I think we need to talk about it.

No one is willing to point it out but me.

It’s a really big elephant.

Tronk

Johanna S., you should really just face these things head on.

With ONE SNORT you’re a GONER!

Listen Kid, my eye capsule is LARGER THAN YOUR WHOLE BODY.

Flutter your wings the wrong way and it’s SNORT CITY.

Snooorrrf

Johanna S., you’re right. This IS interspecies snorglingk.

Rest in peace Lil’ McOttersons…

Peeps, we’ve just learned that the lil’ Otter who stole yer heart by holding hands (no kidding, watch for it!) with her ottermate has passed away. Apparently, "Nyac" the otter even made it through the Exxon Valdez spill! I did not know that.

Let’s do an encore presentayshe for the lil’ trooper. It’s absolutely one of our favorite videos of all time.

Thanks for letting us know the sad news, Kimberly R. and Kim B. :(

Monday morning, serving up the blorp

[Say in Grandma voice] “Honey, you gotta get a good amount of blorp in the morning to start your week off right.”

“Here you go.” [Plops warm, buttery blorp on your plate]

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“What’s that? You want some more? OK, Hon.”

“Now, that’s the maximum blorp allowed, there’s no more.”

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Top photerhe: Tina W., bottom photo that looks like a family you know: Sarah J.

May I offer you SOME BLORP?

One sealio, coming up, with a side of sandy flippage.

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ENHANCE!

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I think he might need to go to the salon for flipper exten-shons, Laurel W.

The Eternal Struggle of Camel Versus Bucket

In the remote plains of Wazoolooland, we come upon an all-too-familiar scene:  A fierce camel locked in mortal combat with the small but wily plastic bucket.

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Saracen_pig

For the bucket, its only chance is to raise its defenses and hope to tire his adversary …

GOOOOOOAAAL

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Alas, even the bucket’s tough protective shell is no match for the camel’s ruthless onslaught …

hump_day

… and with one final bite, the struggle is over.

CHOMP!!

Victorious, the mighty camel cries out his call of triumph.

THIS...IS...SPARTAAAAAAA!

We’ll be back with more of "Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom" after these messages.

bucket_insurance

Yes, sir, Gelosia … that’s your "Baby." ( More photos here )

Do You Mind?!

"We were right in the middle of … um … playing leapfrog!  Um, wait … no, I was giving her a back massage!  Yeah, that’s the ticket … ahmm, would you believe we’re practicing for the football team?  Hup one, hup two!"

HI, MOM!

Scandalous, Tami S.

Let the necking…begin!

"Charles—it was love at first sight when I saw your beautiful, long neck…"

"Nadine—you’re the one with the vertebra that WON’T QUIT"

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And then they stared at their lake reflections fer hours, Jennifer B.

Lil’ Hoser

Check out this tiny hoser over at the Oregon zoo. According to Sender-Inner Lauren I., they’re naming the little guy today! We’ll be sure to check back. I’d like to suggest: “José”.

Unless it’s a girl, then maybe “Phannie” or something?!