I was just saying to myself (awm nawm nawm), I wonder where all the other cats are? (crunch, munch) And here we are, just us cats! (slurp, smack) So whatcha guys doing? Cat stuff, am I right? (burp) You know I love it!
Ivan Elonginak, Billionaire Giraffe of Destiny, Retreats to the Serenity of His Summer Estate
July 24, 2014 by
When Ivan is weary of million-dollar hoofshake deals and cocktails with beautiful models, Ivan takes swim in pool to reflect. Is reflecting pool.
Here, Ivan ponders meaning of his existence. Palatial homes on every continent, two private planes at his command, the adoration of millions of people — is that really all there is?
Alas, the answers do not come, and is time for Ivan to leave. Ivan must tend to his tiny pet Russian millionaire, which he loves very much.
Yer Just NOT Gonna Comprehend THIS One
July 24, 2014 by
A BEBEH ARMADILLO. Playing with HIS PINK BEAR. Yeah, it’s like that. (PS- BTW, his name is ROLLIE.)
Donna P. spotted this on I Can Haz Cheezburger, and added “Thanks for all the cuteness you put into the world! Visiting your site is always a stress-buster.” Thank you, DP. Now will SOMEONE GET ME A BEBEH ARMADILLO.
You’re Checking Out My Tail, Aren’t You?
July 23, 2014 by
Oh no, I’m not offended, really, in fact I get a lot of compliments on it. I take excellent care of it. You might even say I’m attached to it, heh heh… No, it’s nothing personal like that, it’s just that I would really, really appreciate it if you would put those scissors down.
“Welcome to Sunny Florida,” My Shell!
July 9, 2014 by
Been here a whole week, hasn’t let up once! I’ll never get a shell-tan if this keeps up!
Larry Gets Buffaloed
June 21, 2014 by
“Are you gonna let that ram over there blow his own horn like he owns the place? Who does that conch-head think he is?”
“Yeah! I dare ya to challenge that petting-zoo inmate to a head-butting contest! That’ll show him!”
Father’s Day Salute To The Seahorse
June 15, 2014 by
Oh, So U Want A Desert Rain Frog Ring Tone, Eh?
June 9, 2014 by
[This one is an Encore Presentaysh from early 2013. However, Cuteporter Amanda V. wrote in and insisted we do the right thing and run it again. And so we shall. Guaranteed to start the work week off on the right note. -Ed.]
“I have been in love with Mr. Blorpy the Cape Rain Frog since you guys posted him back in 2009, but I had NO IDEA that there were other flavors of Rain Frogs until yesterday when a friend sent me this video of a DESERT Rain Frog and my head positively exploded. The Blorp and Squee are unbounded. Do what is right and share this with the world.”
You got it!
As a new bonus, we’ve also included a handy ringtone for your phone. Click it to preview, or right click on this link to save (or control-click for Mac).
(Oh, you’d like a FIVE MINUTE LOOP of this? Sure, sure.)
Something Fishy About That Guy…
June 6, 2014 by
To: Clovis Flapperton, Day Shift
From: Bitsy Snorfblatt, Human Resources
Subj: Issues with your work performance
It has come to our attention that your output is over 50 percent below average for your shift, and that since you joined us, there has been a dramatic increase in product loss. This last may be attributed to the fact that you are a sea lion, something you failed to disclose during your interview. While we at Forbush Fish Market would normally embrace such diversity, this deception coupled with the aforementioned performance issues leave us no choice but to terminate your employment.
You Are Now Under a Bebeh Pygmy Hippo’s Power
May 27, 2014 by
The eyes say it all. You wish to be her slave. You may apply through her agent, diary keeper, personal shopper and towel boy.
Strictly only the best for her will do, including daily fresh cut flowers, personal masseur, direct dial access to Emeril Lagasse and all blue M&Ms will be removed from her candy bowl.
Her management will take no responsibility for diva tantrums.
Winnie, the baby pygmy hippo born February, 2014 spends her time eating, sleeping and swimming in a heated pool at Bristol Zoo Gardens, England. Watchful Mama is Sirana (Dad is Nato). Via Zooborns.
