This Just In: Pampered Kitten Distrusts Nooks, Crannies

King of Prussia, PA – Bengal kitten, Champion Tippy-Toes McWhispersons (street name: Chuck), got the surprise of his life when he awoke to find himself stranded on a crochet throw.

Never setting foot on anything less than Frette, Chuck was obviously dubious of shabby chic. Frozen in place, Chuck uncomfortably sat in fear that these weird indentations would throw him off-balance, should he dare stick a paw out.

Surrounded by this sea of suspicious fibers, Chuck took matters into his own paws. He stared at it and willed it to transform into his beloved soft, velvet smoking jacket.

That’s one brave kitten, Katia.

THIS JUST IN, Noodles is AWAKE

I repeat, Noodles is indeed awake. As we reported earlier, she was sleeping most of the day, but now appears fully lucid, with ear bows intact.

Excellent cuteporting, Miguel G. of Petographer.

This Just In: Runway Goat Couture 2010

Karl Lagerpelt debuted his new spring collection this week to mixed reviews. Not many will want to sport the Pippi Longstalking-like waves many of his models donned while prancing down the Carpathian-walk. However, come April, you better believe that turnip decorative barrettes will be all the rage.

Your goat’s too sexy for a tan, too sexy for a tan, so sexy he looks like flan, Liliana F.

THIS JUST IN: The “Suck and Glare”

Carl the 17-day-old kitten does not like sharing his bottle.

Izzie, the older cat sits and tries to catch a drip every time, and all Carl does is suck and glare at her.

Ariel E., thank you for bringing this look to our atten-shons and for naming your kitten ‘Carl.” Nice work.

THIS JUST IN: Skateboarding Bulldog

Over at Gizmodo, half the peeps are all like “Dude, that’s so fake, that dog isn’t really playing that game,” and the other half is all like “Yeah, but he thinks he is, he’s like totally rockin’ it,” but we know you’re gonna be all like “Awwww, puppeh” and stuff.

THIS JUST IN: Bebeh Rhino

Rule of Cuteness #10-b:  If you haven’t grown into your feet yet and/or your mom can impale people, you’re cute.  So let’s keep a safe distance and welcome the newest baby white rhino born at Busch Gardens in Tampa, Florida.

Photo by Matt Marriott/Thanks to sender-inner Nick G.

THIS JUST IN: 82 Turtlepower

Congratulations to SeaWorld in San Diego, where 82 endangered green sea turtles hatched without human help.  That’s 164 eye capsules, 328 flappy flippers, and a ka-billionty jillion squeees.  Story, more photos hee-yah.

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THIS JUST IN: a baby wombat in a box

That is all. You may return to your non-wombat-in-a-box-looking-duties now.

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Joanna B. Could be worse. (Se7en alternative box ending video by Mr. Derek N.)

THIS JUST IN: New episode of Simon’s Cat

Simon’s cat is getting into troubs again. Poor Simon, he just goes about his daily life, and his cat antagonizes him at every turn. This time, the Kitteh Terrorism involves… a heat lamp.

Susan H., I think the “moww” sound effects are my favorite part. See ALL episodes here…

THIS JUST IN: Hollywood Switches Its Cause Du Jour

You may have heard rumblings about a certain controversial celebrity recently incarcerated overseas. Many in Hollywood have a signed a petition asking him to be freed, but you know that cause don’t got cred until Causeactivists Tim Robbins and Sean Penn get on board. To put it into perspective, this cause is so important that they immediately halted their annual bid to end the brutal massacre of innocent pumpkins.

So once again, the troops have been assembled, and their rallying call is:

FREE GONZO!

OK, which of you wacky pachyderms put super glue on my trunk.

Camilla must be worried sick, Muffy M.

Photo courtesy of Steffi Loos/AFP/Getty via Boston.com

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