OK, People, this is UN-PEE-RESS-A-DENTED!
Not one but TWO rules of Cuteness at ONCE! [hyperventilating]
I might have to sit down.
RULE #29: If you flex your paws repeatedly in a kneading motion in the air for no reason, IT’S CUTE!
RULE #30: If your breath shows in the form of your stomach moving in a quick, fluttering fashion, IT’S SO CUTE!
This day will live in INFAMAY, Jen S.!
Heck, it’s about time we made this an official Rule of Cuteness. What took so long? I mean, this one is so obvy. This one is also known as "Princess Di" eyes, since she was so good at it. Of course this rule should also be known as "puppy-dog eyes"—same deal.
Accordin’ to sender-inner Sydney G., "John Bailey" the bun is "ready to go public" with this photo. LOL!
OK, it’s official, Peeps, a new Rule of Cuteness is the appearance of “chub” or small rolls underneath eyes. Another prime example of ‘Chub’ is shown here with this dachshund’s pawsitude.
Nice rolls, Rex! (And Sarah V.)
Meg: Settle down, People, there is a guest cuteologist here for a lecture, and he has some excellent observations to share with the class. Dr. Mike-in-Denver, please, go ahead. [open gesture to crowd]
Mike in Denver: [Clears throat] Um, yes, thank you, Dr. Frost. Let me start by saying that while perusing The Cute I have noticed a phenomenon that I think is worth suggesting for a possible canonization.
[students at edges of seats, hummingbirds buzzing overhead carrying notes]
Namely, sleepy eyes: the droopy lids, the unfocused expression, but mainly the overemphasized lower eyelid region. When prominent, this seems always to = cute (unless it’s on, say, Brian Dennehy). I have attached a mashup of some good examples for your class to review.
While this may be a subset of ‘eye capsules’ (as the two are often interlinked), it seems to function independently. It also seems that kittens, puppies, and other young’uns are best at this, but then, they’re best at everything, I suppose.
Anyway, I thought I should go ahead and submit this to the CuteLab for analysis.
[students nod enthusiastically]
Meg: Thank you very much, Dr. Mike-in-Denver. Students, GET ANALYZIN’!
Sure, their might be some dirty laundry in this photo, but please try and focus. The point is that four-legged Phoebe can successfully tuck herself into bed, and dammit, that’s adorable. Ruhmember when Rufus did that?
Good work, Phoebes. You too, Elisabeth D.!
Yeah, yeah, I’m from the E.T. generation and that can only mean one thing: suction cuppage on ends of fingers is anerable. And this guy also wins the coveted Beadiest of Eyes trophy.
"Mouse lemur" Googler Sarah A.—you could never disappoint us…