Meg: Settle down, People, there is a guest cuteologist here for a lecture, and he has some excellent observations to share with the class. Dr. Mike-in-Denver, please, go ahead. [open gesture to crowd]
Mike in Denver: [Clears throat] Um, yes, thank you, Dr. Frost. Let me start by saying that while perusing The Cute I have noticed a phenomenon that I think is worth suggesting for a possible canonization.
[students at edges of seats, hummingbirds buzzing overhead carrying notes]
Namely, sleepy eyes: the droopy lids, the unfocused expression, but mainly the overemphasized lower eyelid region. When prominent, this seems always to = cute (unless it’s on, say, Brian Dennehy). I have attached a mashup of some good examples for your class to review.
While this may be a subset of ‘eye capsules’ (as the two are often interlinked), it seems to function independently. It also seems that kittens, puppies, and other young’uns are best at this, but then, they’re best at everything, I suppose.
Anyway, I thought I should go ahead and submit this to the CuteLab for analysis.
[students nod enthusiastically]
Meg: Thank you very much, Dr. Mike-in-Denver. Students, GET ANALYZIN’!












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