AS SEEN ON TV: Lose Weight The Slobber-cize Way!

[*Note: Speakers up for this one. -Ed.]

Watch those pounds MELT AWAY. The C.O. Slobber-cize Method is PROVEN to get weight off, and get it off FAST! All you have to do is: 1) Go to the park, 2) Flop down, 3) Roll over on your back, and 4) Wait for the belleh rubs. Those will burn the pounds off STAT! Call now! 1-800-555-CUTE! The first twenty callers get a FREE 2015 C.O. Calendar nonotreally.

From The Squid.

Jowl Rest

IMG_20141030_204338053[It's the middle of the night. Turn the lights OFF! And why do you got that thing in my face?]

“This is Miss Trixie using her moose toy, Sven, as a jowl rest. She likes to rest her jowls.” -Natalie W.

Sherman The Sleepy Slobberknocker

FullSizeRenderThere’s just no way we could hold this one until Saturday, Nosevember First. No way. ‘Sides, it’s after 9. Time for bed.

From Emily S.

I Don’t Wanna ‘Tock About It

6alEBXs[A terrible day. AWFUL. Started off by going to the Vet. When that’s at the top of the agenda, the day is going straight into the pooper. So then we went to the pet store for a really horrible Halloween costume. I look like a big daisy, if you can believe it. She dressed me up in front of The Cat, who immediately ran off to tell his friends. Time for bed. I’m just gonna plop right down and drool for awhile. Sigh.]

(Imgur.)

I’ve Fallen And He Won’t Let Me UP!

Sully the Saint Bernard loves his hoomin. He REALLY does. And to prove it, he’s gonna smother him with slobber.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye! Let The Decree Go Forth!! NEW RULE ACTION!

photoThis is Marley! We’re gonna TRY (and most likely fail) at listing ALL the great stuff about her. Best of all- there’s a new rule and she was the catalyst. (IE, we just thought of it.)

#42: Ears that flop over a leetle beet are Cute.

#43: Protruding bottom lips are Cute.

#95: Throwing off a little Side-Eye is Cute. (NEW RULE! See Below.)

“This is Marley. She’s tired but wants to be included on the site. Is she Cute enough?” -Jonah K.

Do Not Call Her “Butkus”

Meet Ellie. Ellie’s that big slobberknocker there. Her hoomin wants to change her name. She has a few new names in mind, but one of them- a homage to a former NFL star- doesn’t sit so well with Big E. (Or maybe Ellie hears it as…”Butt Kiss?”)

From Gawker.

Do I LOOK Like I Care….

…whether or not I slobber on the couch? Some silly hoomin always wipes it up, anyway.

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From the Big R.

Why So SERIOUS?

Serious Heath Ledger/Joker vibe going on here. Think that header has been used before but so whut, it’s too perfect. Let’s get the 411 on this Slobberknocker RIGHT NOW.

“This is Holly, a valley bulldog (bulldog/boxer cross) owned by my boyfriend’s parents. When she lies upside down her jowls flop over and it looks hilarious. We took a picture of it and flipped it upside down. It looks like she is very happy!” -Nerhys H.

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