The Amazing Rolling Woofini Triplets!

Actually, you may be surprised to learn this, but one of them’s adopted.


Totally True Tales of Terribly Tense Terror!

“There I was, alone inside the forbidden treasure chamber of Ali oop-Zamfir. I had just looted the entire collection of first edition AOL free trial CDs when I heard a ferocious roar. I turned, and there were four of the fiercest, hungriest tigers I had ever seen. They backed me into a corner. All hope seemed lost, when…” (finish the story in the comments!)


Via Adam Rifkin/Pandawhale.

It’s Music to My Ears!

When this puppeh hears her favorite jam, she cuts loose as best she can, yo, the toes start tappin’, the ears start flappin’, to the rhythm of the rappin’, yo, but it could be just clever engineering, ’cause there may be a human hand puppeh-teering, and furthermore yo.

I’m a Watchdog! Get It?

Because I’m a dog, and I’m attached to your wrist, just like a watch, so I’m kind of like a watch that’s also a dog… Dang, this joke was so much funnier before smartphones came along.


“This means she loves you,” notes Redditor olafwa.

You Had One Job, Rex! One Job!

I drive all the way to the ballpark when I’m supposed to be at the office, buy an extra ticket just to get you in here, we walk halfway around the stadium looking for a concession stand that sells “frankfurters” because you think “hot dogs” is speciesist, so when Manny Mota hits a once-in-a-career homer into our section, you’re supposed to catch the freaking ball!


Via Reddit/Imgur.

A Public Service Announcement from the Department of Science Fiction

Remember, this is radioactive mutant giant spider season in the southern United States, portions of South America, and of course Australia. Protect yourself and loved ones by keeping pets and children away from webs, making an escape plan in case of invasion, and keeping your flamethrower fully fueled at all times.


Via Reddit/Imgur.

New from Ikea

Add warmth and style to your living room with the FLØÖF accent rug ($39). Also available: SPÔT rug (white w/black spots), MEØW rug (black w/eyes).


“Fifth time this week I misplaced my Yorkie” says Redditor fogflip.

Also Starring a Juggling Elvis Impersonator on a Unicycle Who Plays Spoons

Next time you’re in Vegas, check out the hottest show in town: Wowie-Zowie! now showing nightly at the Schlockadero Hotel/Casino, just off the Las Vegas Strip (via 12-mile dirt side road)! Starring Vegas’ cutest showgirls and funniest animal performers (due to budget cuts, combined into one act)!


“He wanted to be fruit salad so bad,” says Redditor _ByTeMe_.

First, We Wear Our Scrunchies…

… and then we eat our munchie-crunchies! OM NOM NOM NOM


“Their ears kept getting in their food,” explains Redditor Bigfoots cousin.

That’s Bucking Insane

I never really felt like a dog, y’know? Even when I was a pony — I mean, a puppy, I knew something wasn’t right. I was really a horse trapped in a dog’s body: A bronco — a bucking bronco, the one in the herd no cowboy could tame. I’d stand alone at the top of a hill, my mane blowing in the wind, staring down each new recruit like a challenge: You think you got what it takes, cowpoke? Well, saddle up and hang on! Heeyah! Yip! Yip!


Via Artis Pupins.


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