Eh, It’s Just a Theory

As she stared up at the squirrel, she realized that the time had come to reconsider many of her deeply-held beliefs on the subject of gravity…

Caprica vs Squirrel

Sender-inner Robin J. writes: “This is my mini doxie, Caprica, having a standoff with a squirrel in my backyard. The squirrel wants to get off the tree so he can scoop up all the seeds the birds drop from the feeder hanging above. Caprica is not having any of it!”

C.O. Hiking Safety Tips

Hiking in the great outdoors can be a fun and rewarding activity. However, Nature is full of scary things that will totally eat you, so follow these tips:

  1. Remain on trails at all times.
  2. Do not disturb rocks, fallen trees, or remains of crashed UFOs.
  3. If you encounter hikers with a pronounced interest in chainsaws, hockey masks, or banjo music, notify authorities.
  4. For added protection, consider bringing a very large dog.

i3OEmbn

Via Reddit.

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Cucciolo

18700265872_b4362f573c_hRecently in Trieste, Italy, a nice man took his dog for a walk — and then did all the walking himself. We don’t know why he did that, but it was molto gentile of him.

18517284958_614aaf4d32_z

Via Antonio Marano.

Take Another Little Pizza My Heart

O pizza, I am your slave. Though your cheesy aroma fills my senses, my search for you remains fruitless (which is fine because I don’t like fruit).

6D77TCs

Torment me no longer, pepperoni-encrusted temptress! For you, I would journey across desolate deserts, majestic mountains, and decorative driftwood!

R0290317-Edit

AT LAST! THOU ART MINE! Now to catch up with the rest of you, om nom nom…

21

From “Pizza in the Wild,” a photo collection from Jonpaul Douglass.

 

The Straight Story

Strapped into the cramped cockpit, the drag racer awaits his moment. Behind him: a nitromethane-fueled monster. Before him: the most important quarter mile he will ever know. He grips the wheel until it becomes a part of him, an extension of his mind, man and machine aimed with pinpoint precision down a straight line to glory. Even a slight bending of that line, the faintest variance left or right, could cost him victory — or even his life. The countdown begins: first red, then yellow, then green, and…

BKpzqLT

“The morning dew perfectly captured my dog’s erratic freedom run,” says Redditor Babolattack.

Behold, the Mighty Triceratops

A gentle giant in an age of monsters, the Triceratops roamed the earth during the Late Cute-acious period. Although a peaceful plant-eater, Triceratops could be a fearsome adversary, thanks to its tough protective skull and its three lethal horns, which brought instant death to all who angered it… starting with the guy who glued them on in the first place.

0rDsq1F

“My dog has clearly had enough of my crap,” admits Redditor BIGMc_LARGEHUGE.

The Moment of Truth

This was it, Henrietta thought. A fight to the death. It’s either him or me. Survival of the fittest. Two hens enter, one hen leaves. If I back down now, everyone at the henhouse will call me… dog.

UsJZKsZ

Via Reddit.

Missed Connections

Me: Northbound “L” train Thursday evening, trying to work on laptop. You: Two seats ahead, staring at me in distracting way. I moved to different compartment, you followed and kept staring. Changed trains twice, you still there staring. Would sincerely like to meet you, will be in front of Museo Regional de Magallanes, Punta Arenas, Chile, this Saturday afternoon. PS I may be delayed so keep waiting.

ae4x5Uy

“Girl on this train was givin’ me eyes the whole ride,” says Redditor ShinglersLisp.

Tell Them I’ll Call Back!

“(Sheesh, it never fails. I’ve got my duckie, I put on my favorite CD of ambient wind chimes and waterfalls, I get all comfy in the tub — and that’s when the phone rings.)”

oq98hTA

“Max is having a spa day. I just received this from the vet,” says Redditor In4theKill.

HULK SNORGLE!

If you’ll be watching the latest Avengers movie, be sure to stick around for the customary post-credits scene, in which Captain America and Hawkeye console a confused Bruce Banner, whose latest experiment to control his rampaging Hulk tendencies only leads to even stranger results.

cover

Via Cute Emergency.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 17,727 other followers