I Am Soooooo Disappointed in You

"(sigh …)  What am I going to do with you?  I leave you alone for just ten minutes and all heck breaks loose!  Well, you’d better straighten this out, starting by fixing the broken window … AND putting out the fire … AND getting back every last bit of the missing plutonium … AND rounding up all the flesh-eating zombies … AND plugging up the hole in the space/time continuum …"

... and I suppose this whole stock market thing is your fault, too.

I feel guilty just looking at him, Kerry W.

The Sandwich Stealer Writes in!

The epic Sandwich Stealer wrote us!!!

The basset hound we featured we back in ’06 sent a very proud calendar beauty shot our way. Check it out, and check out the original post.


=====Original post!=====

[Cliff Claven voice] Did anyone uh, notice me there? Take this, uh, sandwich here?




Well, Okey Dokes, then.


Carina V., I love how Molly the Basset’s lips wrap around her prey like that. The adventure!

=====/Original post!=====

Wow, that’s like before we even did hovertexts ‘n’ stuff. Congratulations on your calendar appearance, Molly!

Shop Smart. Shop Cute-Mart.

For all your ooh-ing and aah-ing needs, shop Cute-Mart!  We’ve got puppies by the pound, and kittens by the kaboodle!  Sample our Hammies on Rye in our deli section, and take home some fresh-baked Disapproving Buns! This week’s schpecial: Schnauzer, $2.99/lb.

Man, I HATE it when they mark me down.

Bleen-up on aisle four, Jennifer L.!

Breaking News Bulletin!

MEYRIN, Switzerland — More troubles befell the Large Hadron Collider, buried beneath the Swiss-French border, when a trio of puppies were sucked into the particle stream through an air intake and were accidentally fused.  Although the puppies appear to be healthy, doctors caution that certain activities, such as fetch-the-stick, may become more complicated.

... and number twos?  Seriously, you don't want to know.

Can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs, Jenny J.

Purple Rose of Cairo Audishe

Camila the pup will be playing the role of "Ceceila".


"I just met a wonderful new man. He’s fictional but you can’t have everything!" [puts paw on forehead, dramatically]


[Chipmunk playing the role of Tom Baxter, offscreen, reading] "Cecilia, it’s clear how miserable you are… And if he hits you again, you tell me. I’d be forced to knock his teeth out."

"I don’t think that’d be such a good idea. He’s big" [Looks at camera coyly]


And Scene!


Alexandra C., did she get the part!?!


"That’s right Baybees. I leev a double life."

"I am bos doggeh, and… ruug."


"Eet ees hard, but — how you say? Necessaire…"



Um, Christina M., Neiman Marcus called and wants to carry these in their New York City stores…

Mr. Tough Guy

"Oh boy, ohboyohboyohboy … lemmie at ‘im, boss, lemmie at ‘im!  I’ll moidalize the bum!"

Eating in MY field -- who does he think he is?

"That’s right, boss!  We’re goin’ in for the kill!  Now just leggo my collar and you’ll see some serious butt-kicking, yes sirree!  Watch me mop the floor with this no-good, pencil-necked …"

Hmmm, THIS should be interesting...

"Mnnnnyeeeessssss?  You were saying …?"

Ahmm, errrr ... well, that is ... what I meant to say was ...

"… so remember, shorty, (smack!) this is MY field! (smack!)  And now, if you’ll excuse me …"

Y-yes, sir ... T-thank you, sir ...

"Well, hey there, darlin’—How you doin’?  Whaddya say you ditch these dogs and join me at a little party I’m throwing?"

It's a stag party, naturally.

BONUS PHOTOS!  I couldn’t quite work these into my silly little story, but they’re too good not to share, so enjoy:

Nice composition in this shot!

It's a sniff-a-thon!

THAT … is five different flavors of awesome, Laura M.

Take Us to Your Leader

We have come to your planet in search of Kittehs!

[Red flying saucer lands]

Take us to your Leader or ye shall perish


We might take a nap before you take us to your leader


So that we may appear refreshed when we finally met him or her


Zzzzzzzzzzz. [Mission collapses]


Well, nice try I guess, Tanya C.

And Now, a Word From Our Sponsor

(FADE IN on backyard. MUSIC UP, delicate piano with strings)

ANNOUNCER:  These are the Schlackmann Years™—the most precious years of your baby’s life. First steps. First words. And, most important of all, first solid foods.  Maybe that’s why more mothers feed their babies Schlackmann’s Puppies than any other brand. Only Schlackmann’s Puppies are scientifically bred to be easy to chew, and gentle to your baby’s delicate digestive system. And only Schlackmann’s comes in the variety of breeds and flavors babies love. So make them special years; Make them Schlackmann Years.™

Grape Doberman?  My favorite!

Were you a Schlackmann’s kid, Vernel L.?


Hold on, you’re going to see DOUBLE!

Double double double [echo echo echo]


Hilarious wool portraiture courtesy of Amelia Makes Art!


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