Pup Confessional

[Pup speaking to audience] Listen, this kid has GOT to go.

I’ve been babysitting for hours and he still can’t fetch or ANYTHING.

He’s obviously… [holds up paw in whispering motion] perfectly useless.

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Sender-Inner Tom, I think you might wanna heed this advice or teach the baby to fetch—one or the other…

I got yer ‘Tocktober RIGHT HERE

Ehn!

[Splays haunches on floor]

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Stacia F.—what can I say, you’re right, it’s that time of year, and ‘tocks are EVERYWHERE.

Aie, Chihuahua!

Thoughts!?

Sender-Inner Georgia S., what do you think?!

Cuddling Camping Combo

I CANNOT GO HIKING, FISHING OR OTHERWISE UNTIL—

—we cuddle.

Preggers

CUDDLING ENHANCE!:

 

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Nice bliss, Shonti Lynn.

This relationship just isn’t working.

[Cat voice] Listen. It’s not me you it’s me.

We’ve given it a GOOD SHOT.

Are you even listening, Rex?

Ray-ray-ray-ray-ray-mi the Minx YOU knooooow what I like LOL.

Let Sleeping Dogs Cry

"ehrn … robot tentacles … wait … arghh … can’t escape, floor made of Crisco … stop, don’t … not the chicken, not the chicken, NOT THE CHICKEN! … gasp … toothpaste, leiderhosen, Richard Simmons … why am I covered in maple syrup?! … I’ve got to warn Batman about the pomegranates …"

No more garlic Milk-Bones before bedtime, Dan K.

Area Man Punches Shark To Save Terrier

There he was just minding his own dog business…. cruising along dog paddling…

When suddenly… [Jaws music]

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SHARK ATTACK-ACK-ACK-ACK!

This lil’ terrier was attacked by a shark.

As you can see [Doctor’s voice] he got monched in his mid-section and pawsitude areas.

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Thankfully, the terrier’s owner, decided to land a PONCHE or two on the attacking shark, breaking the terrier free, and both terrier and man and shark are living happily ever after as a result. Ahn.

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Yes, we’ll add this guy to the C.O. Dating service,Amanda L. via Guanabee.com

Puppy huffing is SWEEPING THE NAYSHONS

Go ahead, People, take a BIG HIT!

Snoooooooooooooooooooorf (Unbelievable snorfing sounds)

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I mean it. It’s GOOD for you!

I’m Chief Cuteologist, you can trust me.

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You simply *must* feel better now. Right, Amanda J.?

Not Tonight, Honey…

"I have a headache and I’m tired and I have to get up early and I’m not in the mood and I’m still upset about that time in 1993 when I asked you if those Capri pants made me look fat and you had to think about it before answering ‘no.’  So I am now activating the Wifely Force Field of Solitude — BZZZT! — and you can go sleep on the couch."

Uh, hudey?  Goth my thongue stuckth to the forcth field, here.

Jeez, Tatyana S., what’d I say?

At least this Beagle has a Bail Out plan…

Will he make it!? Will his plan get enough votes!? WATCH TO FIND OUT!

Riveting, Kathleen S.!

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