C.O. Extreme Close-up!

They say that dachshunds are the most aggressive breed, and we think that’s what this is, although it could be an elk, a bear, a small asteroid, New Jersey — honestly, we’re not sure.

It's like, how much more black could this be?

And for those moments when the C.O. Extreme Close-up isn’t enough, it’s time to break out the …

And the answer is: None. None more black.

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C.O. Extremely Extreme Close-up of Extremeness!
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That nose goes to eleven, Jenn.

No Stinky Catz Aloud!!!!!1!

"… because dis is our privite super-secret Fortress of Awesum Puppys Club, an’ its just for us awesum puppys, an’ you cant come in becuz your not a puppy, your a CAAAA-a-a-a-a-a-at!"

"Yeah, your a stinky CAAAA-a-a-a-a-a-at!  So go an’ get you’re own stinky cat fortress, ya big stinky doo-doo head!"

'Masterful jape, Mr. Benton.' 'Rabelaisian, Mr. Steed.'

It’s just a phase, Loreen T.

Cute-iny on the Bounty

August 12: The long months at sea have taken their toll on Captain Bleaargh, I fear.  Lately, his behavior is like that of a three-year-old child, and the men grow restless and dissolute.  As first mate, I have concealed his condition as best I can, but with each passing day the signs grow clearer.  He addressed the crew after breakfast, but during ten agonizing minutes, all he could produce was several gurgling noises and a number two.

Admit it. You were expecting a 'poop deck' joke.

Aye-aye, Carrie B.

Oh, pool boy…

"When Spencer and Lenore arrive from the Hamptons, tell them I’ll be joining them in the Blue Room for dinner.  And bring me another one of those lovely drinks with all the umbrellas in them."

And when that nice photographer for Vanity Fair shows up, send him here.

Looks like he DOES own the place, Katherine P.

THIS JUST IN: Boy wears Puppy Chow perfume

And is CHASED BY EIGHT HUNDRED PUPPEHS OMG

Via BoingBoing and Sender-Inner Anna A.

“Chickie” forgot the BBQ sauce

In a moment of panic, Chickie realizes he forgot to bring the BBQ sauce and only remembered sparklers.

Patriotic_chickie

Bad Chickie! Bad Chickie! Happy Fourth of July, Alison R.

Casa Chihuahua McNuttersons

Kids, settle down, it’s time for your bedtime story.

KIDS!

Ap_squirrel3_080529_ssh

…So that’s how your father and I met, Nuts Jr.

I think it was my Mexican Acorns con Arroz that he really fell in love with.   

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OK Kids, off to bed. Tomorrow you’re father’s taking you telephone wire walking, so rest up.

Ap_squirrel_080529_ssv

Laura W. found this interspecies snorgle-a-thon over at ABC News.

Sorry, we’re out of sugar gliders…

… may we offer you a nice puppy instead?  Time for a C.O. math lesson: (Dainty Paws * Paws Up) + Look of Helplessness = Pudding Brains!

You diss these nails, and I am SO biting you.

Your Ringo is quite a star, Jen D.

Oh, Those Wacky Papillons!

"Hey, sweetie, hold still.  You got something in your eye." (slurp, slurp)

"Wha-?  I don’t feel anything! Cut it out!"

"I’m serious," (slurp)  "There’s something in your eye."  (slurp, slurp)

"Wait, are you sure, because I swear I don’t …"

"Just" (slurp) "hold still, willya?"  (slurp, slurp) "You got something in your eye!"  (slurp)

"WHAT?!  WHAT HAVE I GOT MY EYE?!?!?!"

"My tongue.  BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I swear, it gets funnier every time I do it.

I suppose it’ll be "pull my paw" next, eh, Sara L.?

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Kant!

While the common dog enthusiast may content himself to costume his cur in the guise of hackneyed pop-culture icons, retro-urban folk archetypes, or even perverse attempts at species confusion, the intellectual dog owner seeks to cloak Man’s Best Friend not in the artificiality of cloth, but in the transcendence of Truth.  It is for these enlightened few that The Cute Overload School of Philosophy Gift Shop is pleased to offer …

The Immanuel Kant Doggie Dress-Up Kit!

philosopher (L) pupster (R)

Each kit includes a deluxe leather-bound edition of Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason translated into Dog, a set of Categories of the Understanding flash cards, and an easy-to-learn guide to teaching your dog pensive philosophical poses.

To order, contact Ian O.

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