Our Five Finalists Face the Essay Question

"… and the first question goes to Miss Chickasawhatchee, Melita Jane Hoofnagle:  One-fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?"

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

'And furthermore, um ... moo?'

I think we have our Miss Congeniality, Beth S.

Night of the HUMANS!

Coming soon to this theater: NIGHT OF THE HUMANS!  Witness the blood-curdling terror of marauding humans and their ghoulish hunger for DOGGIE BRAINS!  Nothing can stop these mindless beasts as they comb the countryside, fiendishly feasting on furry flesh!

SEE! Terriers terrorized!  SEE! Dachshunds devoured!  SEE! Mastiffs masticated!  Due to the shocking graphic nature of this film, children under 17 will not be admitted without a ticket!  See NIGHT OF THE HUMANS — in gut-wrenching 3-D Snorg-O-Vision!

Well, I really wasn't using it anyway, so...

Let’s schnack on a schnauzer, Stacey S.

Oh, This Is Just SO Wrong…

All right, people, do the math with me:  (Ultra-prosh fuzzy pupper-puff) PLUS (Cuddly infant version of beloved cartoon character) TIMES (Vaguely suggestive naughty pose) EQUALS ZOMG THINK OF TEH CHILDRENS ITS TEH END WERE ALL DOOOOOMED WE GONNA BURN IN H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEYSTICKS AARRRRGGHH (froth, froth, thud)

... then I don't wanna be right, bay-bay.

Gee, thanks for collapsing Western civilization, Betsy. There go my plans for the weekend.

Interspecies Snorgling—Canada Style

Here’s what I think happened. This Polar Bear bear obviously saw the Interspecies Snorgling section of C.O. and decided to investigate his local options.

Tenative at first, the bear wandered over to a pack o’ sled dogs in Canada’s Hudson Bay and approached a Snorglee.

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What followed next can only be described as a solid Husky Snorf™.

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With one inhalation, the bear was hooked.

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The public nomming displays kinda got outta control, drawing the attention of local photographers.

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A great romance ensued, complete with chains [The sign of any great romance]

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Polarbears_amazonI’m SURE everyone lived happily ever after. Snopes has verified this story, People. So it’s tewtelly for reals. Photos by the fabulous Norbert Rosing.

P.S., Norbert is the same Dude who took this awesome shot, on the cover of his book. Holy Symmetrical Haunch Action!

Major Shifty Eyes, reporting for duty

Lil’ White pup: It don’t get much prosher than me, Baby
Black pup: Um, [super shifty eyes] …there is no way I can compete with this action.
Lil’ White pup: [Sticks tiny tongue out for extra points] Pbbbbbfffth!

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Catch shifty eyed (or side-eyed) fever pics at Crunk & Disorderly.

I, For One, Welcome Our Cute Robot Overlords

And now, witness the ultimate battle for cute-premacy, between mutt and machine.  In this corner, fighting for Freedom and Justice: Nervous Yappy Little Doggie;  in the other, representing the Soulless Forces of Evil: Entertaining but Otherwise Functionless Robot. WHO WILL PREVAIL?  PUPPER … OR PLASTIC?

Oh, I almost forgot: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!!!!! (either or both)

I Give It Six Months, Tops

Her: ("I just wish I could be sure this is the right thing to do.  I’m 99 percent sure, well just about 99 percent almost.  I mean, he’s the right man and all, but is this the right time?  Sure, all of my girlfriends are married already, and maybe I’ve been feeling a little pressure, but it’s not as if the clock is running down or anything.  There were so many things I was going to do first:  Backpack across Australia, finish my degree in Tantric yoga rebirthing therapy…  I mean, I tell myself I can still do all of those things, but, marriage is such a big commitment and everything, I just don’t know.")

Him: ("Please, God, don’t let the bachelor party videos end up on YouTube.")

Mawwage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wiffin a dweam...

Photo by Kat Humble, Pawprints Photography, for Pawz for Thought, an animal rescue charity in England.

Grass Bliss

The winds!

Through my delicate furs!

My moist schnozzle! cold with the breeze!

[Flies away off into clouds]

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I never thought I could feel so free-ee-ee, Lindsey and Wrigley

Dreaming Baby Schnozzle Cam

This puppy MUST be dreaming about something…

With those lip movements, I’m guessing it’s a double Ristretto Venti Nonfat Organic Chocolate Brownie Frappuccino (extra hot)

I like my bone-shaped Biscotti on the side, Debra F.!

Let’s check in on Martha’s puppehs

Unless you’ve been sleeping under a rock, you prolly know that Martha Stewart is considering a new puppeh to join her family. Her pup "Paw Paw" passed away in April. Barooooooo! And she is considering a new puppeh (or THREE).

Ya’ll made it very clear with our Cute Overload poll that you wanted Marth to adopt all three pups below. Here is the latest on their almost-weaned status. To see MORE photos of the three Chowskiteers, check out the Martha Blog.

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Their paws and stubbular limbs have grown, and they all look like miniature bears.

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We still think "Nom Nom" is far and away the best name choice. Right Eliad L.?

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