Gentlemen, We Have a Situation

"It has come to my attention that our company is faced with a crisis. Now, I want to be pro-active here, so I’ve called this little pow-wow to make sure we’re all on the same page about this thing.

"Now, men, a crisis is nothing but an opportunity mixed with danger.  In fact, it was the ancient Egyptians who combined the symbols for opportunity and danger because they had never heard it before, the word crisis, I mean, but anyway, if we work as a team, we can seize this bull by the horns (or maybe it was the Chinese), and think outside the box to fast-track a best-in-breed, synergistic solution that will facilitate a sea change throughout our enterprise.

"And remember, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie … in, er, meat pie, and the anagram of meat is team, and … mmm, pie … I’m sorry, what was the question again?"

And furthermore, I like tuna.

I think I used to work for this guy, Kate M.

For Sale on EBAY: Vintage Glasses ~ MUST SEE!

FOR SALE, BY ORIGINAL OWNER

THANKS FOR LOOKING!

Turatan

BID NOW

Turatan4

Still not convinced? Look how great these specs look with a moist nosicle.

Turatan5

Freddie B., I bid…. ONE MEELLION DOLLARS!

Rule of Cuteness #40: Sleeping in a sunbeam is cute

Finding (and sleeping in) a sunbeam is cute.

Happiness

2

Someone update Wikipedia C.O. Rules STAT, Susanna R.!

Crose ups

Ehn. [Eyes flutter closed and go back to sleepies]

Crank It Up, Man!

Get your nose a-sniffin / Head out on the highway / Lookin’ for aromas / And whatever comes our way…

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN TOOOO BEEEE
WIIIIIIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD!!

(THUMP-tha-da-THUMP-tha-da-DUDDA-da-da-THUMP!  THUMP-tha-da-THUMP-tha-da-DUDDA-da-da-THUMP!)

Objects in mirror are more blissed than they appear.

Totally awesome submish-osity from the aptly-named Joy H.

Look Sharp, Armchair Detectives!

Hidden in this seemingly ordinary photo are clues to help you solve … (pause for dramatic effect) … A MURRRR–DERRRRR!  (dun, dun, DUUUUUUNNNNNN!)   Study this scene carefully — can you unravel the mystery?

CSI: Cute Scene Investigation

NEED A HINT?  Pay close attention to these clues:

Wow! She was my sixth-favorite Friend ever!

A magazine opened to a picture of Courtney Cox-Arquette!  The victim must have been engrossed in an article about the lanky Friends co-star, allowing the killer to sneak up from behind!

Bucka-bucka-bucka-BONK!

A dead chicken clutching a billiard ball!  Could this have been the murder weapon?

Oh, hello there!

A custom-made fur-lined beer-can holder! (partially obscured by dog)  Ah-HAH!  Alcohol must have been involved!

Ask your mom.

A basket with a variety of Japanese honeymoon accessories!  Well … maybe we shouldn’t talk about these.

And the answer, says super-sleuth Dona R.: "The cat did it!"

Just five more minutes, Dad…

"Aw, Dad, I don’t wanna get out yet!  You better leave me in here because … ahmm … I’m a mad dog!  Yep, that’s it, check out the foam!  Growl!  I’m completely off my rocker, better not get near me!  Growl, growl!"

10

"No?  Well, then … uhmmm … I’m SANTA CLAUS!  Yeah, that’s the ticket!  See, with the hat?  Ho, ho, ho, you’d better not take me out of this tub yet, or it’s no presents for you, nuh huh …"

Jeez, what's the point of being cute if I can't get more tub time?

They’re such a handful at that age, Scott H.

Blood-Thirsty Hounds Appreciate Cuteness Too

UK’s Mail Online is reporting a pack of blood-thirsty hounds decided to spare the life of Mr. FawnPants here. In fact, the fawn, known as "Bam Bam" trots along happily with the 60-dog pack and huntsman on their daily walk.

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The fawn fits in perfectly as he is the same size as the hounds, and seems to enjoy hanging out with the pack, much to the complete surprise of onlookers!

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Apparently, Bam Bam’s Momma abandonned him right near the huntsman’s house, most likely scared off by the dogs. Since then, Bam Bam has received his daily milk and seems quite content.

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Bam Bam will be rehomed in a deer sanctuary next year. More pics and more on this story here.

Our Five Finalists Face the Essay Question

"… and the first question goes to Miss Chickasawhatchee, Melita Jane Hoofnagle:  One-fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?"

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

'And furthermore, um ... moo?'

I think we have our Miss Congeniality, Beth S.

Night of the HUMANS!

Coming soon to this theater: NIGHT OF THE HUMANS!  Witness the blood-curdling terror of marauding humans and their ghoulish hunger for DOGGIE BRAINS!  Nothing can stop these mindless beasts as they comb the countryside, fiendishly feasting on furry flesh!

SEE! Terriers terrorized!  SEE! Dachshunds devoured!  SEE! Mastiffs masticated!  Due to the shocking graphic nature of this film, children under 17 will not be admitted without a ticket!  See NIGHT OF THE HUMANS — in gut-wrenching 3-D Snorg-O-Vision!

Well, I really wasn't using it anyway, so...

Let’s schnack on a schnauzer, Stacey S.

Oh, This Is Just SO Wrong…

All right, people, do the math with me:  (Ultra-prosh fuzzy pupper-puff) PLUS (Cuddly infant version of beloved cartoon character) TIMES (Vaguely suggestive naughty pose) EQUALS ZOMG THINK OF TEH CHILDRENS ITS TEH END WERE ALL DOOOOOMED WE GONNA BURN IN H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEYSTICKS AARRRRGGHH (froth, froth, thud)

... then I don't wanna be right, bay-bay.

Gee, thanks for collapsing Western civilization, Betsy. There go my plans for the weekend.

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