And Now, Here’s Every Episode of Lassie Ever Made

"Whoa there, Lassie!  Why the big hurry?"

(Insert 'screeching tires' sound effect here)

"What’s that you say, girl?  Timmy’s fallen down a well?  And he’s broken both legs?  And he’s surrounded by poisonous snakes?!  And he’s sinking into quicksand?!?  And he’s down to three percent power on his iPod?!?!"

(Insert 'whimpering collie' sound effect here)

"I’m coming, Timmy!! I shall accomplish a daring and heroic rescue in my own particular idiom!"

(Insert 'Hanna-Barbera running' sound effect here)

Let’s hope the idiom doesn’t require any heavy lifting, Kira G.

Pup saves kittens from fire!

Most peeps would push others out the way during a fire, but not this pup. He stayed behind to make sure the kittens trapped inside got out safely.

Jump over to Yahoo!/AP to see the story.

Puppulence

Picture_25

Thanks to all the rubberneckers who sent this one in, especially Berthaservant!

Soooo immature

[White pup] "Hey! Isn’t that your Corgi crush is over there?!!!"

[White pup] "I’m gonna yell your name out so she turns around!!!"

[Tan pup] "Nooooooooo! Don’t—"

[White pup] "DAISY!!! OVER HERE!!!"

[Tan pup, hiding] O… M… G.

828755397_05df305eba_2

This horrifying elementary school memory brought to you by MayJ., photographer of A spot in the sun, Adorable 6 wk old puppies, and 6 wk old puppies, soooooo cute…

HOT SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE PUPPY FEED ACTION

[Touching corner of stove gesture] Ow!

I tried to look away, Nichole O., but you’re right. I can’t.

Meanwhile, over at the costume contest…

Stay-Puft™ Marshmallow Pup:

Mla00059991

The Superfriends;

Mla00060038

One Skeleton Sniffs Another Skeleton’s ‘Tocks:

And finally; "The Guinea Witch is In":

Mla00060055_2

Wanna see more? Check out the Martha Stewart / Cute Overload Pet Costume Contest!

Vaddya tryin’ ta do, kill me?!

"Dees is da voist bagel I evah had!  It’s too chewy, fa one thing.  A goot bagel, it oughta have a crunch to it, you know vhat I’m telling you?  And second, dere’s fur all over it!  Since vhen is dere fur on a bagel?! Thirty-two years I been coming to this deli, I never got a bagel with fur on it!  G’wan, take dis away, bring me a danish or something."

...with a nice whitefish, maybe you have?

I’m so verklempt, Lisa S.

Finally, a solution to the global economic crisis!

This is the FIRST solution I’ve seen make ANY SENSE.

How about it, America!?

Sender-Inner Ian M., thank you for bringing this slobbery solution to light. See more Natalie Portman videos at Funny or Die.

You Sons of Beaches!

OH-BOY-OH-BOY-I’M-GOING-TO-THE-BEACH-I’M-GOING-TO-THE-BEACH-I’M-GOING-TO-THE-BEACH-YUP-YUP-I’M-GOING-TO-THE-BEACH-OH-BOY-OH-BOY-ARE-WE-THERE-YET-HUH-IS-THIS-THE-BEACH-YET-HUH-IS-IT-HUH?

My tongue's fine--it's my face that's pointing the wrong direction.

By the way, what’s a "beach"?  I hope it’s not that place with all of the …

Uh-oh ...

WATER!!!!!!  NOOO!!!  I don’t wanna go in the water!!!  Water is EVIL!!!  It’s full of monsters with sucky tentacles, and giant fish with big bitey teeth, and they all go to the bathroom in there!!!

I'm too CUTE to die!

Are you trying to KILL ME?!  If this is about the stain on the carpet, it wasn’t my fault!  Can’t you at least have the decency to tie me in a sack, you cold-hearted murderer?!  I’ll get you for this if it’s the last thing I do!

Actually, THIS is shaping up to be the last thing I do...

Can’t … breathe! … Caught … in … tentacle! … Pulling … me … down! …  Must … escape … !

Must ... impersonate ... Shatner ...

Humph!  I’m never talking to either of you again, you … you … doggie killers, you!  And from now on, I’ll do whatever I want on the carpet, and you can fetch your own damn slippers!

Now take me home.  It's time for my bath.

Found on the aptly-named SomethingAwful.com by drowner-inner "Non Applicable"

More C.O. Travel Tips!

Many pet owners dread having to take long trips with their animals, but there’s no reason why you and your cuddly canine companion can’t enjoy the pleasure of travel together, as long as you follow these simple steps when packing your pet:

  1. Place hind legs together and fold upwards across chest
  2. Fold front legs over hind legs to secure
  3. Fold modesty tail upward to conceal naughty bits

It’s that simple!  Now you have a perfectly packed puppy, ready to check with luggage or slide into the overhead compartment.  Happy trails!

I think this lame idea just set off my mental detector.

That’s presicion work, Matt K.

Newsflash: ‘Tocktober is more than halfway over…

…So I suggest you get your ‘tocks out there on display before it’s TOO LATE.

This puppeh is just doing his part.

Tocks

Way to celebrate, Alana M.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 14,418 other followers