Breaking News Bulletin!

MEYRIN, Switzerland — More troubles befell the Large Hadron Collider, buried beneath the Swiss-French border, when a trio of puppies were sucked into the particle stream through an air intake and were accidentally fused.  Although the puppies appear to be healthy, doctors caution that certain activities, such as fetch-the-stick, may become more complicated.

... and number twos?  Seriously, you don't want to know.

Can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs, Jenny J.

Purple Rose of Cairo Audishe

Camila the pup will be playing the role of "Ceceila".

Dsc08856

"I just met a wonderful new man. He’s fictional but you can’t have everything!" [puts paw on forehead, dramatically]

Dsc08857

[Chipmunk playing the role of Tom Baxter, offscreen, reading] "Cecilia, it’s clear how miserable you are… And if he hits you again, you tell me. I’d be forced to knock his teeth out."

"I don’t think that’d be such a good idea. He’s big" [Looks at camera coyly]

Dsc08886

And Scene!

Spring1

Alexandra C., did she get the part!?!

Puppy by day—fabulous SHEEPSKIN ACCESSORY BY NIGHT

"That’s right Baybees. I leev a double life."

"I am bos doggeh, and… ruug."

Sammy1_2

"Eet ees hard, but — how you say? Necessaire…"

 

Sammy2_2

Um, Christina M., Neiman Marcus called and wants to carry these in their New York City stores…

Mr. Tough Guy

"Oh boy, ohboyohboyohboy … lemmie at ‘im, boss, lemmie at ‘im!  I’ll moidalize the bum!"

Eating in MY field -- who does he think he is?

"That’s right, boss!  We’re goin’ in for the kill!  Now just leggo my collar and you’ll see some serious butt-kicking, yes sirree!  Watch me mop the floor with this no-good, pencil-necked …"

Hmmm, THIS should be interesting...

"Mnnnnyeeeessssss?  You were saying …?"

Ahmm, errrr ... well, that is ... what I meant to say was ...

"… so remember, shorty, (smack!) this is MY field! (smack!)  And now, if you’ll excuse me …"

Y-yes, sir ... T-thank you, sir ...

"Well, hey there, darlin’—How you doin’?  Whaddya say you ditch these dogs and join me at a little party I’m throwing?"

It's a stag party, naturally.

BONUS PHOTOS!  I couldn’t quite work these into my silly little story, but they’re too good not to share, so enjoy:

Nice composition in this shot!

It's a sniff-a-thon!

THAT … is five different flavors of awesome, Laura M.

Take Us to Your Leader

We have come to your planet in search of Kittehs!

[Red flying saucer lands]

Take us to your Leader or ye shall perish

Dsc_0166

We might take a nap before you take us to your leader

Dsc_0161

So that we may appear refreshed when we finally met him or her

Dsc_0157

Zzzzzzzzzzz. [Mission collapses]

Dsc_0172

Well, nice try I guess, Tanya C.

And Now, a Word From Our Sponsor

(FADE IN on backyard. MUSIC UP, delicate piano with strings)

ANNOUNCER:  These are the Schlackmann Years™—the most precious years of your baby’s life. First steps. First words. And, most important of all, first solid foods.  Maybe that’s why more mothers feed their babies Schlackmann’s Puppies than any other brand. Only Schlackmann’s Puppies are scientifically bred to be easy to chew, and gentle to your baby’s delicate digestive system. And only Schlackmann’s comes in the variety of breeds and flavors babies love. So make them special years; Make them Schlackmann Years.™

Grape Doberman?  My favorite!

Were you a Schlackmann’s kid, Vernel L.?

Doppelgängeroverloäd

Hold on, you’re going to see DOUBLE!

Double double double [echo echo echo]

2870126909_02d8ef7e1a_o2870129873_3e8153653a_b2870130955_81d0c02b6d_o2870132083_6dce0bec0c_o2870132265_85047da1b7_o2870956172_e4d2fa8e36_b2870956314_431b4610fc_b2870957306_7448303cf0_o2870960486_11a8d9a137_b2870961444_04dc4af701_o2870962554_b919bf74be_o2870962794_7947763f69_b2878784937_1557f96074_o2879557426_e3b6d4eea1_o

Hilarious wool portraiture courtesy of Amelia Makes Art!

Noooooooooooooo!

I LEFT MY LAPTOP ALONE FOR ONE MINUTE!!!

Nooooooooooo

Notice the empty teacup on the right Vernal L.? There’s your problem.

You GOTTA hear this tiny puppy tongue action.

Steps:

1. Put on your headbones
2. Crank sound
3. Listen for "tongue noises"
4. You will NOT be disappointed.

Sender-Inner Aria P. claims this is Rich’s latest favorite puppy tongue vid. Slurptastic!

Cuddles?

Sleepy Pup 1: "Hey."

_jal0649

Sleepy Pup 2: Yeah?

_jal0621

Sleepy Pup 1: "Cuddles?"

Sleepy Pup 2: "K."

_jal0615

Cuddular Moments™ brot to you by Josh L.