This Might Take a While

“Oh, that’s it, pal — I am so biting you!  You’re in for a chomping, mister!  Prepare yourself for the unforgiving wrath of my jaws, ’cause here it comes!  OK, I’m really gonna let you have it!  Just wait until I sink my fangs into your fuzzy little head, pencil-neck!  You’ll rue the day you were pollinated!  All right, no more practice chomps–it’s slobberin’ time! You want a piece of this, well do ya?  ‘Cause you’re gettin’ it!  Oh, don’t think I won’t do it!  Knock-knock!  Who’s there?  Biting!  Biting who?  Biting you, starting now! I really mean it this time!  You’re getting the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth!  The next thing you’re gonna taste will be the bittersweet kiss of calcium death, with a saliva chaser!  Oh, don’t even think about running away!  Stand up and take what’s eventually coming to you!”

How to Survive a Slasher Movie

Rule 1: Don’t Go Upstairs.  Serial killers love to hide in attics, belfrys, cupolas — anyplace that can be reached by a long, slow climb up an endless flight of stairs.

DSC_2931

We traced the calls, Cheng L. — they’re coming from inside the house!!

How Reflective Human Dramas from 1981 Instill Fear and Loathing in Collies

It happens about once or twice a year, so you’d think I’d be used to it. But, no. At least I can recognize the triggers now. You know, if someone says something about fishing or back flips, then I know it’s coming. I’ve stopped trying to hide; it’s no use. Always just a matter of time before she pops in “On Golden Pond” and dresses me up like Henry Fonda.

Look at the loons, Norman!

At least you’re over your “Tootsie” phase, Glenna M.

Awkward Family Photos

Hurley and Preston are just hangin’ out. Real casual, on the tree in the front yard. Nuthin’ unusual here—EXCEPT THEIR HAIRCUTS!

IMG_5620

Sophie G., this photo fits riiiiiiight in at awkward family photos

A box labeled “Schnozzle”

We hoped the movers had used enough packing bubbles.

Had the ‘Fragile’ stickers worked? Had Schnozzle made the trip in one piece?

There was only one way to find out.

boxhab

Nose-out-of-the-box – Thanks! is by orangedroplet.

All Right… So She’s a Dog

MILAN — Stunned art historians announced today that their efforts to restore a priceless collection of 18th-century masterpieces have led to a shocking discovery:  Yelena Sylvania Potzi-Stroganoff, a Russian countess once believed to be the most beautiful woman in the court of Emperor Peter III, was in fact a real dog.

australian_shepherd_as_countess

OK, here’s the real deal: The portrait on the right is example of custom pet portraiture by Valerie Leonard, and you can see this and more on her site.

Domesticated Terrorism

Sure, this guy had always been on their Watch List, but when they received that anonymous tip suggesting they search his private office, they had no idea what they were in for. It was a startling find, and his intended list of targets was long:

office_collage

Luckily, they had Dr. Lipschwitz on speed dial.

Don’t worry – McGruff is on the case, Effie. And, happy birthday.

No Wonder They’re So Pricey – They’re Lined With Fur

I mean, I appreciate her efforts – I really do. But it’s just not me. And you know, I just don’t have the heart to tell her that I’m more of a plaid flannel-wearing, L.L. Bean backpacker. But, she’s the one with the thumbs, so here I am.
Why you tie-dye my nose?

It is a real supple ride though.

I didn't know you could lock a dog.

I wasn’t aware that Louis Vuitton made pets, Florence A.

THIS JUST IN: “Coconut” in the “Cozy Coupe” again

Behold “Coconut” the pup driving a “Cozy Coupe” kids car in his rainbow pajamas. Apparently, Coconut sits in the coupe “all the time” and waits to be “pushed around”. Nice redonk Caturday night activity you got there, Coconut.

6823_1158444278526_1150338066_30409383_982780_n

Brandy D. wanted us to alert her if this pic got posted. Brandy, it’s a done dealio.

Lhasa Oopsie

Ah, those poodley Apsos, those curly munchkins, those inspirational figures for the denizens of George Lhucas’ verdant Endor, those lhithe and lhovely (alhbeit a lhittle lhazy) lhemur-lhicking lhunatics… OK I’ll stop. From the Meg Files, circa December 19th, 2007.

Buster_and_hali_wrong_beds

You might infer from the photo above that Buster, the Lhasa-poo, gets to choose where he sleeps, and he chose the big bed. This would be false. Hali, the bigger dog, likes the little bed.

Anna C.— Suuure we believe you. Kinda like these two guys—remember them?

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 16,696 other followers