A Kitten Named Taunt-o

When he heard that his owner had bought Kibbles ‘n Bits, he had no idea just how unappetizing the “Bits” would be. In fact, “Bits” bordered on downright annoying:

Finders keepers, Losers weepers! I know you are, but what am I? No backsies, shield for life!



*wink-wink* acknowledged, Priscilla V.

And as for you, Eric S., since it’s too taxing for you to hit ‘send’ yourself, we think you owe Priscilla V. a hefty raise. Pronto, “Taunt-o”.

Heads You Win, Tails You… Uh, Also Win

The holidays are almost upon us, when people express their love by exchanging gadgets of dubious utility.  And in that spirit, we’re proud to introduce the latest item in the C.O. product stable: The Cute Overload Executive Decision Maker!

Here’s how it works:  When you feel the need to make a crucial decision, simply 1) Take any coin;  2) Flip the coin and note which side–heads or tails–is face up;  3) Stare at the corresponding photo until the urge to make a decision goes away.

Our readers are gonna flip over this pup, Chelsea L.

Need I Remind You, We Both Have Thumbs

Civilian, please do not touch the animal while I work. I possess a highly skilled craft; you do not. Let my healing hands guide the way to a cure to this terrible problem.

And…Yes, I think I’ve done it. The animal should finally be rid of this very unpleasant case of Singultus.

Dr. McDomineering and patient McPanty might make “Grey’s Anatomy” watchable, Martin I.

Gravity sucks

I’m glued to the ground. Did someone slip me a mickey or something?

Seriously, is there some kind of giant magnet below me? Did I ingest a lot of iron?

He goes against the grain, Joie B.

Friday Haiku: Puppy Uppers!

Prosh pal punchy, pooped?
Popping power pill provides
Plenty pep for pup

The secret compartment of my ring I fill / With an Underdog super energy pill!

Quite a pick-me-up, Danée A.

Don’t Cross the Maltesie Crime Family

Hey boss, I ain’t workin’ for free here. I dug your hole, but if you want me to – you know – “bury the bone” too, then that’s gonna cost you extra.

Oh, you’ll bury the bone. You’ll do it quickly. And you’ll do it quietly. And fortunately for you, I’m going to try and forget your very unfortunate attitude.

Has anyone seen Sir Purrsalot, Gwyneth D. and Ariel C.?


I repeat, Noodles is indeed awake. As we reported earlier, she was sleeping most of the day, but now appears fully lucid, with ear bows intact.

Excellent cuteporting, Miguel G. of Petographer.

THIS JUST IN: Maltese puppy does not want to wake up

[Whispering] Ladies and Gentlemen, Noodles has decided to sleep in. We’ve tried Sausage-smell-smelling salts—nothing will awaken her.

All we can do is patiently wait, make sure her ear bows stay on, and photograph the hell out of the situation.

We’ll check back on this story this afternoon. Miguel G. at Petographer will keep us informed.

Someone’s Got a Case of the Mondays

Hey, Norton, what’s happening? Listen, I’m going to need you to not press snooze again, alright? Yeah, if you could go just ahead and get up and come into the office, that would be grrrreat.

That’s my stapler, Stephenson B.

This Public Bathroom Has the Worst Janitorial Staff Ever.

Um, excuse me? I don’t mean to disturb you, but if you wouldn’t mind just scootching over for a moment…? I just ate at Panda Express and I have Duck Sauce all over me. Hello?

No worries, I’ll just grab some toilet paper…

“No, I can’t spare a square. Now beat it. I got eatin’ to do.”

Try a hotel lobby Rhiannon and  Natalie S.


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