Hi, I’m the New Monster Under Your Bed

Yes, moved in last Thursday. Still living out of the boxes; ach, such a mess, don’t get me started. Anyhoo, just wanted to pop up and say hello, and I promise to start terrorizing you as soon as possible, but we’re so busy right now what with the change-of-address cards and getting our youngest into kindergarten.

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“Chloe” looks like an extra from “Monsters, Inc.,” Danielle.

Available at fine pet stores everywhere.

He was there, and I here. Everyday. My mind was on him. Constantly.

Do you miss me?

My master, he could do no wrong. My unconditional love was infinitely unambiguous.

Unquestionably so!

Would he always be mine? Time would tell…

Why is that small blue dog interfering with my snuggle time.

There are many loves, but only one obsession: Canine Klein’s Obsession.

Ahh, the smell of it, Aubrey A.

The Busy Life of a Single Dog.

6:00AM: Wake up, chase cat on treadmill.

6:30AM: Make Mooch breakfast.

6:31AM: Make mental note to call Dr. Lipschwitz about Mooch demanding Fancy Feast.

7:06AM: Train into city.

7:10AM: Scold Mooch, explain why he can’t stick head out window, add incident to Lipschwitz list.

8:00AM: Arrive at Mooch’s daycare, wonder why door is locked.

8:02AM: Realize it’s Saturday.

Please don't tell my ex-wife about this.

Hope you offered him a venti, non-fat, half-caff, extra-foamy latte, Leighann S.

That’s Knot Funny

For today’s busy serial prankster, the most important skill to master is time management.  For example, tie your victim’s shoelaces together first; this will keep him engaged and distracted, giving you time to short-sheet his bed, fill the sugar bowl with salt, and hide his car keys.

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Check the sofa for whoopee cushions, Claire C.
Photo by Angelo Sotira.

It’s kind of like finding a potato chip that looks like Jesus.

Except it’s a bathroom towel dog, and he looks like Eleanor Roosevelt.

The 'permanent press' setting helps.

Not an albino mole.

I do not approve of this post.

You can find FDR in one of my wrinkles.

Have you seen Lou Hoover? She looks like my foot.

Pigment is for losers.Hellooooooooooooo!

Forwarded by John L.

I Want My Phone Call!

Ya rotten, stinkin’ flatfoots ain’t got nothin’ on me!  Ya hear me, ya no-good screws?  Now one’a youse get my mouthpiece on the horn or I’m eatin’ this cage!

Let me guess: NTMTOM's been Googling crime-movie cliches, hasn't he?

Newsflash: Baby Bulldog gets up on own accord!!!

I can hear the collective sigh of relief accrosst the country! This guy:

Finally got up.

I agree, Jason A. Maybe now everyone can stop having a cow about it.

A Slice-of-Life Story

So Kenny, Marv and me hit the links over the weekend.  It was a tough course, with plenty of “beachfront property” and tricky doglegs—or, as we call them, “legs.”

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So anyway, Marv overclubbed past the apron on the fifth, but hit the green with a pitch-and-run and drained it for par. Meanwhile, Kenny found his sweet spot and swatted a wormburner straight to the pin for a double eagle!  Or something.

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I have no idea what any of that meant, Russ C.

Can I Get One in Paisley?

Ever the innovators, the Japanese revolutionize the world of cuteness yet again — with the automatic doggie dispenser system! In this leaked prototype testing video, we can see how the patented Rol-Ovr™ rollers gently deliver a fresh, piping hot doggie, in your choice of colorful tunics!

On second thought, Amy R., make that stripes.

Casting Call

We love the little critters when they’re scampering about — but sometimes they scamper straight into trouble.  Never fear, however; as Animals in Casts demonstrates, whatever doesn’t kill you makes you cuter:

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Eastern-Grey-Kangaroo

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Found by Jessica T.

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