When They Said I Would Become a “Service Dog”, This was Not what I had in Mind

“Sir, would you like some coffee? Tea? A swift kick in the seat of your pants?”

Forwarded by Chief Sister Officer via Buzzfeed

Today’s C.O. Brainteaser!

So, you think you’re an advanced Cuteologist? Test your IQte with this brain-busting challenge: Arrange these puppies from left to right, in order of cuteness. (Answer in hovertext)

˙ǝɥɔɐpɐǝɥ ɐ ǝɯ buıʌıb sı ʇxǝʇ uʍop-ǝpısdn sıɥʇ puɐ ǝʇnɔ ןןɐ ǝɹ,ʎǝɥʇ ‘ʇı ɥʇıʍ ʞɔǝɥ ǝɥʇ ‘ɥɐ ˙˙˙dnssoʇ ɐ ɟo puıʞ ǝɹɐ ǝuo puɐ ǝuıu ‘ʎןןɐǝɹ ‘ןןǝʍ ˙˙˙ǝuo uǝɥʇ ‘ǝuıu ǝʌɐɥ ǝʍ ‘uo buıʌoɯ ‘ʞo ˙˙˙xıs puɐ ʇɥbıǝ uǝǝʍʇǝq ǝɯoɔ pןnoɥs uǝʌǝs ‘ʎןןɐnʇɔɐ ˙˙˙oʍʇ uǝɥʇ puɐ ɹnoɟ ‘ǝʌıɟ uǝɥʇ ‘xıs ʇɐɥʇ ǝʞɐɯ ‘ou ˙˙˙ǝʌıɟ ‘ʇɥbıǝ :ɹǝʍsuɐ

We’ll order one of each, Amy K.

Doggie Daughter Debut Delights Dad

Here’s Chaucer the Bulldog, meeting his daughter new boss for the first time, and giving his owners a serious case of the gigglefits.

Punchlines Only Dogs Get

“Then the rabbi says, ‘Well, if you’re really an ostrich, sell me some life insurance!’”

“If I could walk that way, I’d have enough mangoes to open my own bowling alley!”

“Three: One to screw in the light bulb, and two to sprinkle cornstarch on the floors and windowsills, then hide in the dishwasher and wait for the gnomes.”

Buddy Bulldog at 3 months, taken by his mom, Liz M.

Early Prep for Halloween 2010

“Uh, no, I don’t plan on being a Gamorrean for Halloween. Why do you ask?”

Nah, more Natalie Wood if you ask me, Danica L.

Whispering Campaign

It often starts with an innocent remark, casually tossed away like a gum wrapper. But once a secret is set loose, it scampers from ear to ear, friend to friend, until everyone knows the truth: You still wear Spider-man underpants.

Shh! Don’t pass it around, but David Leip took this picture.

The Curse of the Dream Doll

All right, campers, time for a Halloween ghost story:

She thought it was just a harmless doll, forlorn and forgotten in the toy store bargain bin. But that night, as she slept, the doll filled her dreams with dark and terrible visions. The skies above her were thick with thousands of winged letter carriers, while legions of zombie dog catchers clutched at her as she ran and ran. And then she saw the most horrifying vision of all…

So, campers… what happens next in our tale of terror?

Via Gawker via The Daily What via Buzzfeed via Fox News via your mom.

Come on in, the Water’s Fine!

Here, I’ll splash you a little so you get used to it. (splash, splash)
See now nice? You’ll thank yourself later, trust me. (splash, splash)
OK, now that you’re wet already, let’s play Marco Polo! (splash, splash)

I’m not going in without my water wings, Annie M.

C.O. Dating Tips!

Remember, kids, no matter how hard you try to set the perfect mood — romantic violin music, kung-fu fight sound effects, strangers watching on closed-circuit TV — never try to get frisky on the first date.

¡Ay Chihuahua!

OK, more like ¡Ay Golden Retriever! but that’s not what you’ll say after you see Carrie and partner Jose Fuentes dance the merengue. Carrie comes from Chile, where they have plenty of reason to dance these days. (Caution: Loud audio)