Live from the Labrador Room, Paramus

Hey ladies and gentlemen glad ya could make it how’s everybody doin’ tonight that’s great ok this next act is the funniest comic working the dogmouth circuit today you’re gonna love him put your hands together for Rocky Boffo let’s hear it…

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Good evening hey it’s great to be here so I tell my psychiatrist I think I’m a deck of cards he says I’ll deal with you later and my girlfriend’s a one-legged waitress yeah she works at ihop but seriously folks what’s the deal with these airline peanuts…

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Is that a pinball machine part in picture one, Natalie F.?  (And am I a geek for knowing that?) (Update: It’s a finger puppet.  Thanks to various commenters for the info.)

It’s Time for Benny’s TV Playhouse!

Hey there, kids!  Welcome to my super-fun TV playhouse!  All my favorite TV pals are here, like Bucky Bear, and Sally the White Object That Might Be a Bunny (I think she passed out on the swing set)!

And you’re just in time to see me hop on my flying carpet and travel …

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To the moon! OK, here I am on the moon… The lunar surface is really bumpy…

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… and it smells just like fabric softener!  Oh, well, as long as I don’t meet up with any scary moon monsters I should be…

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… fine.

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Benny’s TV Playhouse is a Jess E. Production!  Benny trained by Jess E.!  Sets designed by Jess E.!  Benny designed by Benny’s mom and dad!  Photos by Jess E. and Jess E.’s Mom!  Executive Senior Script Consultant, NTMTOM!  Fake moon landing set by NASA (I knew it)!  See’ya next week, kids, YAAAAAY!!!

THIS JUST IN: “Coconut” in the “Cozy Coupe” again

Behold “Coconut” the pup driving a “Cozy Coupe” kids car in his rainbow pajamas. Apparently, Coconut sits in the coupe “all the time” and waits to be “pushed around”. Nice redonk Caturday night activity you got there, Coconut.

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Brandy D. wanted us to alert her if this pic got posted. Brandy, it’s a done dealio.

Friday Haiku: What’choo Lookin’ At?

Stoic sentinels
See the long and short of it
Haiku their vision

3 dogs in a hatchback

Choo lookin’ at me, Kayla C.?

THIS JUST IN: A puppeh with pink glasses

This pup is seeing 20/10, People, and he’s reading the eye chart on the wall and it says:

I

OWN

YER

ASS

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Impressive at such a young age, @Mishmashed!

Tonight, Make It a Floofmann’s Night

For the special times—when only the best will do—reach for the hamster trusted by more families than any other: Floofmann’s Canned Ham.

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That’s because Floofmann’s chooses only the freshest, proshest hams, with 30 percent more ‘tocks,* picked at their peak of redonku-liciousness.

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And now, so that you may savor the jaw-dropping cleverness:

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* Do we even want to know how you got 30% more ‘tocks, Julie and Ron?

Ham-gloo

Knit one,
Purl two,
Add ice,
ham-gloo!

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That’s an igloo for hamsters, Holly M.

Rubber Duckie, You’re So Huge

Don’t tell Ernie, but someone zapped his favorite tubbie toy (or our mascot) with the Giganto-Ray and sent it on a goodwill tour.  Hatched by Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman, this 9.5m tall by 11m long rubber duck has been spotted in Europe, Japan, and Brazil.  More photos here, and don’t miss the video below.

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Caveat Emptor.

You’d be surprised to learn how many people don’t do their research before buying a hybrid. Sure, they think they’re doing the environmentally-responsible thing, plus they’ll save money on gas. A win-win, right? Well, if they ever bothered to take a look under the hood to actually see what’s powering their hybrid, they’d realize that the amount saved on gas, won’t compare to the cash spent on walnuts. And the heckling. My God, the heckling…

Chipmunkanics.

“Well what the hell were you expecting? You think this thing runs on rainbows and unicorn tears?”

You did NOT just call me Alvin.

“Do I’s come to your office and go lookin’ under your desk? If you want to get to work before lunch, I suggest you close that hood then back away real slow. Oh, and if you want Zuko over there to stop chewing on your air filter, then you best bring the nuts. I ain’t gonna ask twice.”

What'd you think "hybrid" meant?

“Lady, honest to God, if you don’t stop starin’ at me with that gaping mouth from behind that wheel, I’m gonna bring in the squirrels.”

I hope your stowaways made the transition from car to yard quite nicely, Tammy G.

I love, I love my calendar squirrel

You must have eet!!!

I love, I love my calendar squirrel
Yeah, sweet calendar squirrel
I love, I love, I love my calendar squirrel
Each and every day of the year.

It's no rocket pop but it will do.

Cute Overload Page-a-Day and Wall calendars NOW AVAILBUHLS. Licking Squirrelio Iglesias sent in by Zarina M. Lyrics are a blatant rip-off of ‘Calendar Girl’ by Mr. Neeeeeeeeeeeeeil Sedaka!

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