For the special times—when only the best will do—reach for the hamster trusted by more families than any other: Floofmann’s Canned Ham.
That’s because Floofmann’s chooses only the freshest, proshest hams, with 30 percent more ‘tocks,* picked at their peak of redonku-liciousness.
And now, so that you may savor the jaw-dropping cleverness:
* Do we even want to know how you got 30% more ‘tocks, Julie and Ron?
Don’t tell Ernie, but someone zapped his favorite tubbie toy (or our 
You’d be surprised to learn how many people don’t do their research before buying a hybrid. Sure, they think they’re doing the environmentally-responsible thing, plus they’ll save money on gas. A win-win, right? Well, if they ever bothered to take a look under the hood to actually see what’s powering their hybrid, they’d realize that the amount saved on gas, won’t compare to the cash spent on walnuts. And the heckling. My God, the heckling…
“Well what the hell were you expecting? You think this thing runs on rainbows and unicorn tears?”
“Do I’s come to your office and go lookin’ under your desk? If you want to get to work before lunch, I suggest you close that hood then back away real slow. Oh, and if you want Zuko over there to stop chewing on your air filter, then you best bring the nuts. I ain’t gonna ask twice.”
“Lady, honest to God, if you don’t stop starin’ at me with that gaping mouth from behind that wheel, I’m gonna bring in the squirrels.”
I hope your stowaways made the transition from car to yard quite nicely, Tammy G.
I love, I love my calendar squirrel
Yeah, sweet calendar squirrel
I love, I love, I love my calendar squirrel
Each and every day of the year.
Cute Overload Page-a-Day and Wall calendars NOW AVAILBUHLS. Licking Squirrelio Iglesias sent in by Zarina M. Lyrics are a blatant rip-off of ‘Calendar Girl’ by Mr. Neeeeeeeeeeeeeil Sedaka!
Woke up this morning and thought: “You know what I’d really like to see? A baby snow leopard. That’s what I’d like to see. A snow leopard would be awesome.”
No special occasion, really–just in the mood for a snow leopard, for some reason. You know what they say: When you gotta have a snow leopard, you gotta have a snow leopard. I’m just saying, that’s all, hum dee dumm, loot de dooo…
Oh look! There’s video, too! Wait for the squeak at the end!
Photos and video by Tambako the Jaguar.
[Throwing you up against the wall]
IT’S CALENDAR TIME, BITCHES! But this time, there are two formats!
PAGE-A-DAYand WALL CALENDARS!
OMG!!! Check out the Desktop one!
Here’s what pages look like inside! You get to tear a page off a day and throw it, in paper airplane format, at your nearest co-worker!
And the wall calendar looks like this!
Here’s what it looks like inside! Here’s August!
Here’s May!
And if you thought you’d only see twelve measly photos on the wall calendar, you’d be wrong! You’ll see pictures in the days too! Check this details action OUT:
Which will you choose!? Desktop or wall? Desktop or wall? Act now and we’ll send you a Slap Chop! We can’t do this all day! Now selling WHEREVER CALENDARS ARE SOLD!
Page-A-Day Calendar!
Amazon!
Barnes and/or Nobles!
Calendars.com!
Powell’s!
Wall Calendar!
Amazon!
Calendars.com!
Find an Indie Bookstore!
Indiebound!
You must have eet. (Obviousleh.)
Turtle and stuffed fish
Can your haiku celebrate
Their forbidden love?
I give it six months, tops, Caroline D.
Yeah, it’s my security bulldog SO WHAT
Stop making fun of him, Kezia S. and Kris W.!
Kittens in sweateuws!
Sweateuws on Kittens!
Feelin’ comfy!
Comfy-Feelin’!
Meanwhile, check the curly ‘tocks!
‘Tocks, curlin’ check it meanwhile
I hate my sweatuew!
I hate my sweatuew!
Self-described Sender Inner “Mandi C.” is a “knitter” and says “I just finished knitting this sweater for a co-worker’s baby. I decided to try it on my cats. Westley-the orange cat purred the whole time he had it on. I had to fight the black cat Horus to wear it.” Ahnnn.
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