How many times do I have to tell you not to knock over the garbage? And stop digging in that nice Mr. Kenobi’s garden! And for Pete’s sake, stop vaporizing the mailman!
In the long-awaited sequel to the Disney classic, Timothy Mouse’s cousin Ignatz Sqerl attempts to convince Dumbo he can scuba dive, only to thwart his own plans when he gets a case of the munchies.
Oh, mah dawlin’, (slurp) ah get all misty when ah’m near you (slurp, slurp). Your hot kisses are (slurp) lahk a bray-eth of fresh aay-yah, ah dew (slurp) dee-clay-yah…
Hanh S. shares: “My kitty Darth Nori wheezes like Darth Vader (hence her name), but ever since she started making out with Petey (her penguin humidifier), she’s been breathing easy! Great for those pesky winter coughs/sneezes!”
Oh, it’s just Japan, going the extra cute mile again! Check out these little kitteh cell phone stands; functional felines in six assorted colors! Suuure, these cats are cute, but will they answer when you call them?
Via our favorite partner in redonk, Rocket News!
My name is Don Arachno, I’m the king of latin samba,
The ladies see me dancing, and they’re shrieking ¡ay caramba!
Alas, I am but robot, and must seek upon my honor
One special dancing partner by the name of Sarah Connor
Please tell me that thing on the front dispenses tequila, Wendy M.
I love my adoptive parents, even though they’re not as communicative as I’d like. I’m also looking forward to locating my biological mother, who I understand is a stuffed giraffe in upstate New York.
“So, after the sauna, let’s all get a massage! By the way, Becky, what have you done to your hair?”
Via Steven Schwartz.
They rushed me to prototype in just ten days. Ten days! For most dolls they take a month, but I was the Grumpy Cat doll, the cranky Internet superstar adored by millions, and I was gonna be this year’s must-have toy.
But then just like that the bottom fell out. The endorsement deal went nowhere. Grumpy Cat: The Musical closed after 14 performances. Victoria’s Secret’s Grumpy Cat collection was a PR disaster. Finally, everyone just… moved on.
And today? See for yourself. “Must-have toy,” that’s me. Right.
Via Tina D.
HONG KONG – Rubber Duck, the traveling art project currently gracing Victoria Harbor, is feeling a little… deflated. According to CNN, the 54-foot inflatable duck is mysteriously dead in the water. Reached for comment at his home on Monster Island, film legend Erniezilla says he’s “inconsolable.”
ANAHEIM, CA – Dozens of decorated ducks tried their luck in Disneyland’s charity Rubber Duck Race through the canal of “it’s a small world.” On a tragic note, several ducks tried to drown themselves after enduring the ride’s iconic theme song.