They’re covered in tattoos and have scary biker names, but these bad boys were born to be mild. They’re the men of Rescue Ink, and as profiled in the New York Times, they speak out against animal abuse and find loving homes for abused animals all over the Big Apple. They’re not vigilantes, as they’re quick to point out, but they’ll get in an abuser’s face as much as the law allows — and they can be very persuasive.
Coming soon to this theater: NIGHT OF THE HUMANS! Witness the blood-curdling terror of marauding humans and their ghoulish hunger for DOGGIE BRAINS! Nothing can stop these mindless beasts as they comb the countryside, fiendishly feasting on furry flesh!
SEE! Terriers terrorized! SEE! Dachshunds devoured! SEE! Mastiffs masticated! Due to the shocking graphic nature of this film, children under 17 will not be admitted without a ticket! See NIGHT OF THE HUMANS — in gut-wrenching 3-D Snorg-O-Vision!
Let’s schnack on a schnauzer, Stacey S.
Bro!—not everyone is Alpha Tau Omega material. You gotta, like, earn it. [Adjust baseball cap and spits chew into cup]
Prove your loyalty by taunting baby tigers, endure paddling by your Big Brother, successfully wrestle Brother Tacker naked in the jello kiddie pool and come back to the House with a girl’s panties by midnight TONIGHT!
[Secret handshake] Please, Xenia V., may we have another?
Extended monkeying here.
This is an encore presentayshe of Christian the Lion. This version has Whitney Houston belting it out in the background, timed perfectly with the lion leap is just *too moshe* to handle.
Joanna A., I wish a local vicar would let ME play on his field. Oh, and I will always love you.
Man, Iowa is having a TOUGH time. The people, pets, everything. It is rough.
Thankfully, the Humane Society is on the scene, heroically saving pets from precarious situations, providing safety, shelter and reuniting folks with their ani-pals…
[Dog is all ‘Baroo!?!’]
[Kitties are all Pfffffffft!-pffffft!]
The primary responsibilities of Marmoset monkey Dads are to schlep the kids around, chomp through bark for midnight sap snacks, and teach the kids manners (throwing poop joke here.)
These twinmarmosets were born last year at the Bronx Zoo to three-year-oldmom, Squirt, and seven-year-old dad, King. I think Squirt’s somewhere getting a mani-pedi right now.
Thanks, Brinkie G.!