Mr. Tough Guy

"Oh boy, ohboyohboyohboy … lemmie at ‘im, boss, lemmie at ‘im!  I’ll moidalize the bum!"

Eating in MY field -- who does he think he is?

"That’s right, boss!  We’re goin’ in for the kill!  Now just leggo my collar and you’ll see some serious butt-kicking, yes sirree!  Watch me mop the floor with this no-good, pencil-necked …"

Hmmm, THIS should be interesting...

"Mnnnnyeeeessssss?  You were saying …?"

Ahmm, errrr ... well, that is ... what I meant to say was ...

"… so remember, shorty, (smack!) this is MY field! (smack!)  And now, if you’ll excuse me …"

Y-yes, sir ... T-thank you, sir ...

"Well, hey there, darlin’—How you doin’?  Whaddya say you ditch these dogs and join me at a little party I’m throwing?"

It's a stag party, naturally.

BONUS PHOTOS!  I couldn’t quite work these into my silly little story, but they’re too good not to share, so enjoy:

Nice composition in this shot!

It's a sniff-a-thon!

THAT … is five different flavors of awesome, Laura M.

People (muzzle) powsches!!

These prosh humans have muzzelpowsches of their very own.

They are extremely creative. You can make one too!

P9210849

Eliza F., I’ll do an Xtreme C.O. Close up on you if you don’t watch out.

And Now, a Word From Our Sponsor

(FADE IN on backyard. MUSIC UP, delicate piano with strings)

ANNOUNCER:  These are the Schlackmann Years™—the most precious years of your baby’s life. First steps. First words. And, most important of all, first solid foods.  Maybe that’s why more mothers feed their babies Schlackmann’s Puppies than any other brand. Only Schlackmann’s Puppies are scientifically bred to be easy to chew, and gentle to your baby’s delicate digestive system. And only Schlackmann’s comes in the variety of breeds and flavors babies love. So make them special years; Make them Schlackmann Years.™

Grape Doberman?  My favorite!

Were you a Schlackmann’s kid, Vernel L.?

It’s time for your Sunday Monkey Washing

I know you’ve been waiting for it!

Well your getting-clean-mini-humanlike-mini-shower-in-the-kitchen moment is finally here.

Wash wash wash, Ann!

This guy is totally crawling over to cuddle with you

plink plink [eyes blinking sound]

[Hand/paw slowly points towards you]

You can cuddles?

pic pic pic

Karen G., best eye-to-ear ratio evar!

Puppyhuffers Anonymous

"Hello, I’m Bryan H., and I’m a puppyhuffer." (crowd: "Hi, Bryan…")

"It all started innocently enough.  I was at a party, and someone was passing around a … a puppy.  And I’m thinking, just one puppy, what harm could it do?  Well, now I’ve got a five-puppy-a-day habit, man!  I just can’t stop huffing them puppies!"

And you weel huff me tooooo ... yesss you weeeel ...

We’re here for ya, Bryan and Celia H.

DId you post the Behbeh Squirrel Monkeh yet!?

Chief Sister Officer is insisting [stamping her foot!] that I should post this baby squirrel monkey vid from the Bronx Zoo. It’s no Spaghetti Cat, but it works for moi.

See the video for the lil’ guy here at the Bronx Zoo site. The second video down…

Monchichi

Thanks, C.S.O., everyone loves a little muzzlepowsche/schnozzle dark patch action. ;)

You might cry the tiniest bit at this one

Pull at our heart strings WHY DON’T YOU Buenos Aires ZOO!

Sarah J., I won’t tell anyone [handing over a hanky].

Answer: A Drunken Safari

Question: What do you get when you take African animals, delicious fruits, and good ole fermentation?

Whoever did the sound effects for this movie is a GEEEEENNNIUS! [singsong] Jaimie R., hic!

This might also be a good time to remind you of another redonk Safari over in Kenya (thanks Megan D.)

Real Men Dig Teh Qte

They’re covered in tattoos and have scary biker names, but these bad boys were born to be mild.  They’re the men of Rescue Ink, and as profiled in the New York Times, they speak out against animal abuse and find loving homes for abused animals all over the Big Apple. They’re not vigilantes, as they’re quick to point out, but they’ll get in an abuser’s face as much as the law allows — and they can be very persuasive.

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... and I will hug him, and love him, and brush his lit-tuhl furry body ...

See all photos and the full story over at the New York Times. Badass submishe, Paul K.

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