Puppyhuffers Anonymous

"Hello, I’m Bryan H., and I’m a puppyhuffer." (crowd: "Hi, Bryan…")

"It all started innocently enough.  I was at a party, and someone was passing around a … a puppy.  And I’m thinking, just one puppy, what harm could it do?  Well, now I’ve got a five-puppy-a-day habit, man!  I just can’t stop huffing them puppies!"

And you weel huff me tooooo ... yesss you weeeel ...

We’re here for ya, Bryan and Celia H.

DId you post the Behbeh Squirrel Monkeh yet!?

Chief Sister Officer is insisting [stamping her foot!] that I should post this baby squirrel monkey vid from the Bronx Zoo. It’s no Spaghetti Cat, but it works for moi.

See the video for the lil’ guy here at the Bronx Zoo site. The second video down…

Monchichi

Thanks, C.S.O., everyone loves a little muzzlepowsche/schnozzle dark patch action. ;)

You might cry the tiniest bit at this one

Pull at our heart strings WHY DON’T YOU Buenos Aires ZOO!

Sarah J., I won’t tell anyone [handing over a hanky].

Answer: A Drunken Safari

Question: What do you get when you take African animals, delicious fruits, and good ole fermentation?

Whoever did the sound effects for this movie is a GEEEEENNNIUS! [singsong] Jaimie R., hic!

This might also be a good time to remind you of another redonk Safari over in Kenya (thanks Megan D.)

Real Men Dig Teh Qte

They’re covered in tattoos and have scary biker names, but these bad boys were born to be mild.  They’re the men of Rescue Ink, and as profiled in the New York Times, they speak out against animal abuse and find loving homes for abused animals all over the Big Apple. They’re not vigilantes, as they’re quick to point out, but they’ll get in an abuser’s face as much as the law allows — and they can be very persuasive.

24510929

... and I will hug him, and love him, and brush his lit-tuhl furry body ...

See all photos and the full story over at the New York Times. Badass submishe, Paul K.

Night of the HUMANS!

Coming soon to this theater: NIGHT OF THE HUMANS!  Witness the blood-curdling terror of marauding humans and their ghoulish hunger for DOGGIE BRAINS!  Nothing can stop these mindless beasts as they comb the countryside, fiendishly feasting on furry flesh!

SEE! Terriers terrorized!  SEE! Dachshunds devoured!  SEE! Mastiffs masticated!  Due to the shocking graphic nature of this film, children under 17 will not be admitted without a ticket!  See NIGHT OF THE HUMANS — in gut-wrenching 3-D Snorg-O-Vision!

Well, I really wasn't using it anyway, so...

Let’s schnack on a schnauzer, Stacey S.

Must be pledge week at Monkey U

Bro!—not everyone is Alpha Tau Omega material. You gotta, like, earn it. [Adjust baseball cap and spits chew into cup]

Prove your loyalty by taunting baby tigers, endure paddling by your Big Brother, successfully wrestle Brother Tacker naked in the jello kiddie pool and come back to the House with a girl’s panties by midnight TONIGHT!

[Secret handshake] Please, Xenia V., may we have another?

Extended monkeying here.

and here.

Encore Presentayshe: SING IT, WHITNEY!

This is an encore presentayshe of Christian the Lion. This version has Whitney Houston belting it out in the background, timed perfectly with the lion leap is just *too moshe* to handle.

Joanna A., I wish a local vicar would let ME play on his field. Oh, and I will always love you.

Please Do Not Climb the Otter

Welcome, welcome one and all, to Minnesota’s Fergus Falls!

Home of The Otters!

We got otter football, otter softball, otter pops, otter sculpture…
Big_Otter_Fergus_Falls

…oh fer cryin.  We got otter tourists.  [sigh]
Mod_on_otter_head

Not to be too smug, but how jealous are our friends at CuteOtters.com now, eh??  Grins.

FYI: Petite mohawked monkey OWNS YOUR SOUL

[sucking thumb + bamboo strand]

Here’s the deal.

I’m a golden-haired, mini mohawk-sporting, teeny-nostrilled monkeh.

And I own your soul. all of it! All. FYI.

Cutestmonkey

Ooh-ooh-ah-ah, Sparkling T.!

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