As the expedition pauses at one of the many watering pools that dot this mysterious island, I note with some frustration that we are no closer to sighting the giant ape known to the natives only as Kong. If there was only some clue…
Welcome back to “Health Chat,” and our next guest is immunologist Dr. Colobus G. Ibbon, who claims to have developed a 100-percent reliable method to prevent allergic reactions. Dr. Ibbon, would you share with our viewers the details of this truly remarkable discovery?
Just cut to a commercial, Connie H.
Dr. Jones coiled his bullwhip and gazed at the crumbling stone altar just paces away. Atop it sat the squat bronze idol, as it had for centuries, returning his gaze with mocking contempt.
“Let us hurry,” said the guide. “There is nothing to fear here.”
“That’s what scares me,” said Jones.
Once again, Chantal P., what was briefly yours is now mine! (evil laughter)
Once again, as he has done for centuries, the cursed vampire rises from his grave to feast. Mad with hunger, the wretched fiend spies his next victim, an unsuspecting villager. He waits in the shadows; his prey draws nearer… and then, with inhuman speed, the monster strikes!
More monkeyshines at the Daily Mail.
… who nourishes our forest with gentle life-giving rains,
… who blesses us with interesting feet that can grab things,
… who makes heavy the trees with delicious fruits that are very hard to open,
… who causes the theme from “The Benny Hill Show” to reverberate inside our tiny heads whenever we frolic and scamper through the treetops,
… all glory and pudding be upon thee, forever and ever, aaaaaaaa-monnnnk…
(OK, this is an ape, not a monkey, but we like the sound of “monkey butt,” so deal.)