(Man, this is the sweetest babysitting gig ever.  The kid smears the food on his face, and I get to lick it off.  I hope he managed to get some dessert on the other side.)

That’s got to be the cleanest baby in history, Samantha M.

Washington, D.C. — Outraged legislators renewed calls for banning human-animal hybrids after researchers at the Frankenstein Institute for Extremely Scary Science announced the creation of a “lambaby.”  According to a spokesperson for an angry mob that stormed the Institute, “arghle grumble blaarphle rhubarb rhubarb!”

I have just one word for you, Brynne M.: PASICKIE!

A while back, Meg featured some orangumazing photos of Suryia and Roscoe, the orangutan and hound-dog buddies.  Now, thanks to sender-inner Marilyn T., you can see the heartwarming story of how they met.  On your mark, get set, awwww!

NOM-VEMBER!*

OK, it was frakking close, we can celebrate both.

This is the Overload afterall. BRING IT ON!

Thanks for finally making a call, Sarah L. (who’s never met a Vervet monkeh she didn’t like) *As of press time, ‘Nom-vember was barely squeaking by at 49%, People!

As the expedition pauses at one of the many watering pools that dot this mysterious island, I note with some frustration that we are no closer to sighting the giant ape known to the natives only as Kong.  If there was only some clue…

Welcome back to “Health Chat,” and our next guest is immunologist Dr. Colobus G. Ibbon, who claims to have developed a 100-percent reliable method to prevent allergic reactions.  Dr. Ibbon, would you share with our viewers the details of this truly remarkable discovery?

Just cut to a commercial, Connie H.

May your labor day be filled with cool pools of water, hot sun, and (not shown here) Monkey-sized Pabst Blue Ribbons.

Thanks for the heads up / reminder / good-natured nagging Goodwin D.!

Just hung out.

Rim shot please, Katherine F.

Dr. Jones coiled his bullwhip and gazed at the crumbling stone altar just paces away.  Atop it sat the squat bronze idol, as it had for centuries, returning his gaze with mocking contempt.

“Let us hurry,” said the guide.  “There is nothing to fear here.”

“That’s what scares me,” said Jones.

Once again, Chantal P., what was briefly yours is now mine! (evil laughter)

Summer-tiiiiiime
And they’re comin’ to get me
Pups are jumpin’
At my cam’ra held high

Oh your teeth are fine
Keep ‘em clear of my Canon
This candid CutePortering
Dumps me on my behiiiiiind

Ehhh, who am I kidding; I’d do this all day.  Thanks to Lucy, Ricky, and my lovely neighbors across the street.