C.O. Celebrity Scandal Watch!

Tongues wagged this week as papparazzi spotted superstars Britney Ears and Hugh Jackrabbit at a romantic getaway in Tahiti, protected by their bodyguard Bruno.

Dahhhh, nothin' to see here, move along...

Well, I never, Carly R.

K.I.T.T. Never Had These Problems

He was no Michael Knight. And he didn’t even come close to a Magnum. Hell, even with espadrilles, he couldn’t hold a candle to Crockett or Tubbs. The sad truth was, despite what he wanted you to believe, he was no babe magnet.

Can I get a little help here?

And since he didn’t even know how to drive, he spent his days working it as a hood ornament; it was a pointless exercise in futility.

Someone tell Tawny Kitean that she's been replaced.

I’m guessing there are Jersey plates on that thing, Lindsey Y.

THIS JUST IN: New episode of Simon’s Cat

Simon’s cat is getting into troubs again. Poor Simon, he just goes about his daily life, and his cat antagonizes him at every turn. This time, the Kitteh Terrorism involves… a heat lamp.

Susan H., I think the “moww” sound effects are my favorite part. See ALL episodes here…

There’s a cover charge at the door, and the password is ‘loin’.

Their fall from Hollywood elite was shocking and swift, but they did what was necessary to pay the bills. Given, their new gig is a little depressing, but at least they headline on Wednesdays as the male revue “Everything but the Oink”. It’s no summer blockbuster, but they make the best of it. Wilbur, Babe, and Piglet always do.

Prosciutto, Pancetta, and Sir Hammy reenact "Flashdance".

Erewhay areway ethay eglay armersway, Echo L.?

That’s Knot Funny

For today’s busy serial prankster, the most important skill to master is time management.  For example, tie your victim’s shoelaces together first; this will keep him engaged and distracted, giving you time to short-sheet his bed, fill the sugar bowl with salt, and hide his car keys.

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Check the sofa for whoopee cushions, Claire C.
Photo by Angelo Sotira.

The acoustics make it truly unbearable.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! OHMYGOD-OHMYGOD-OHMYGOD-OHMYGOD!!!  What are you doing in here?? Don’t you know how to knock?

Great, you’ve seen my webbed feet – are you happy now? Why don’t you take a picture, it lasts lon–

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Oh, you did not just take a picture! I swear, if this ends up on some blog with a stupid caption about how I should wear a shower cap-ybara..

Just get out! Getoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetout!!!

Capybaras enjoy the soft scent of Dove. Who knew?

Dobby really needs a shower cap-ybara, Loren S.

The GIFs That Keep on Giving

Browse enough message boards, or open enough e-mails, and odds are you’ve seen a few animated GIF images — tiny video clips full of endlessly-repeating hilarity, their sources long forgotten. Below, a few favorites (about 2MB each):

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still-Guinea_pigs_nomrace still-Bird_steals_sad_wallaby

So, Dr. Charmin, My Old Nemesis…

… we meet again!  You look surprised to see me, you villainous swine…

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Perhaps you’re wondering how I escaped your thugs in Tangiers…

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And that bomb in the Swiss embassy — that was meant for me, I assume?

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It was the girl who warned me — you should never have trusted her…

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And now it’s the end of the line for you, evildoer!

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The sender-inner?  The name’s W. — Robin W.

Didju chew the frisbee!? Didju!? …Didju!?

Didju!?!?

YOU DID, Didn’t you!!!?

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Marina D., there is ample evidence to support my theory.

Cornstarch: It’s a Hell of a Drug

Says snorter-inner Claire K.: “I have a 3 ½ month old kitten named Pepper. He’s still in the kitten stage of thinking that everything that moves is a toy for him to play with.”

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“Last week my sister, Brigid, was baking in the kitchen when a bowl of cornstarch fell off the counter. Pepper immediately dove into it! Brigid got some great photos and then set to the task of cleaning the floor and Pepper.”

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