He Does this Every Winter

(Heh, heh, heh) I’ll hide some snow in the refrigerator…

… and paste someone with a snowball next June!

They never learn, Emma H.

“I Kissed a Cat and I Liked It”

Except for the milk mustache, that part was gross.

You have excellent taste, Alexander G.

Philip Morris the Cat

After a long day’s tail-chasing, it’s time to relax with a good friend — and the smooth taste of Meowlboro 500’s. Using only the choicest catnip, the full-bodied flavor of Meowlboro always satisfies. Available in regular, menthol and tuna.

Photo by Lynzy E., bogarted by Andrew D.

The Ironically Named Mrs. Peacock Witnessed Much at Tudor Mansion

I don’t care who you just killed with a wrench in the Billiard Room, Mrs. White, because I just walked in on Professor Plum and Miss Scarlet in the *ahem* Lounge, and quite frankly I’m gonna need to borrow that wrench to gouge my eyes out.

Game over, A.Q.F.L.! [Another of Ant's Quality Foraged Links].

No, I Haven’t Seen Your Lipstick

Why would you even ask me that? I’m insulted! Every time something goes missing around here, everybody looks at me! For your information, I don’t even wear that shade — it doesn’t flatter my complexion and it tastes terrib… oops.

Says Valerie S.: “This is our Howie, a 9 month old male shi tzu/maltese.  Howie (or Howard when he has been naughty) raided my purse one morning and found a tube of lipstick I haven’t used in over a year.  This is what I woke up to that morning!”

Alien: The Cute Version

“Who’s a cute little chest-burster? Who’s just the cutie-patootiest unstoppable hostile chest-bursting little life form? It’s you, yes it is! Yes — it — eee-yizz!”

Even Ripley wouldn’t believe it or not, Cheryl L.

A Day in the Life of Your Hamster…While You Work

I’m a “glass is always half-full” kind of fella, so I feel pretty darn good about leaving him a little present here.

It took me a good two hours to MacGuyver that jigsaw into place using a complicated system of levers and pulleys made out of key chains, clothes line, and Q-Tips–not to mention the team of raccoons, live wires, and cotton candy it took to start the damn thing. And as it turns out, it takes “modifying” my owner’s perfectly good headboard to realize that woodpeckers really are idiots.

Lettin’ it all hang out while I watch my manly shows is just how I roll; I hope Gayle or JOHN TRA-VOOOOLLLLLLLTA is on.

Owner arrives home in two minutes – practicing my “where have you BEEN?!” look.

We know they love you, Hannah.

My Last Roommate Was Just Like This

Roomie: “So what’cha eatin’ there? Any good? I’m not partial to kibble, myself, but… Say, that’s not bad… Gosh, it’s such a nice day, let’s dine al fresco… I’ll just take this out to the veranda…”

Me: “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…”

Man, German Cat Trainers are All Business

Geet your mind out of the guhtter! Thees ees a test of strength! My Uncle Hans taught me thees treek, and believe you me, if you wants to be a weight leefter, you will learn to beench press a fellow feline! Now leeeft, dammit, leeeft!

Not safe for work, Matthew H.

And that was the Last Time He Ever Went Out with the Cat

If he thinks that fourth tequila shot was a bad idea, just wait until he sees the “I ♥ Maru” tattoo on his chest.

Drunken gut-HANCE!

Let the big guy sleep it off, Angela C.

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