Batcone of Shame!

I am the darkness…
I am the night…
I am… so going to scratch whoever did this to my cone.

catman

This is Alexandria, and according to her human, she’s all better now.

The Amazing Couch Magnets™!

Have you run out of space on your refrigerator door, and you still have important receipts to organize and children’s artwork to display? Then put your sofa to work with new Couch Magnets! (CAUTION: May cause shredding and/or shedding. Do not attempt to sit on couch while in use.)

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Via Adam Rifkin.

That’s a Wrap

Another holiday come and gone, another festive season
Again the houseful of in-laws and kids, running about for no reason
Mom burns the roast beef, Dad trips on the tree, Uncle Ed hits the egg nog hard
The electric bill rivals the national debt from the lights out on the yard
Steve home from college, lecturing all on privacy, taxes and climate
Cousin Alice brags on her weight loss last fall, just like last year, you can time it
They bicker and argue, and yet it all ends in warmth and kindness and cheer
So now all I all of you, family and friends, could someone get me out of here?

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“Here’s Twix. He puts up with a lot from the kids,” says Redditor I_Love_McRibs.

Terror of Tiny Town!

All was calm, all was bright, when… it came upon a midnight clear!

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It’s Tink, destroyer of towns, via Reddit.

The Floof of the Month Club

Looking for a unique gift idea? Enroll that special someone in the Floof of the Month Club! Every month, your loved one will get a box full of top-quality floof, in our patented self-packing carton. Order today!

Secret Super Santa Spotter Spies Sideways

(There he is! Santa Claus, right there in person! And he’s every bit as magical as I thought he’d be — Look! He can even walk on walls!)

Via Reddit.

I’ve Seen Things You People Wouldn’t Believe

Roast beef on fire next to the pork shoulder on our iron skillet… I’ve watched tin foil glitter in the microwave next to the Anheuser beer. All those moments will be lost in time… like drippings in gravy…

Via Reddit.

C.O. Neighborhood Crimewatch Action Alert!

Residents are warned to be on the lookout for a peeping tom(cat) known only as “The Masked Maligner,” who hangs out in showers, making catty remarks.

It’s Kind of “Grello”

For the fourth time, Abigail failed her driver’s license test when she was unable to tell the difference between the yellow and green traffic lights.

It’s Like Christmas, But With More… Me

No sooner do I finish chewing each stocking
When I see you commit a faux pas quite shocking
You’re up taking snapshots, but wait just a minute
This scene is defective, because I’m not in it
Why waste your megapixels on a tree
When you could be capturing beautiful me?
Never mind sparkly lights; I’m brighter by far
I’m like having your very own Christmas star
So when I see that camera, I’ll be a go-getter
And get in each shot… Ah, yes, that’s better.

image

“Accidentally created a camera hog,” says Redditor spunwasi. “Now this happens when I try to take a photo.”

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