From the C.O. Impractical Joke Files

If you really want to confuse your cat, wait until your cat is sleeping, then tear down your house and rebuild it so that it appears to be on its side.

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Via Kelly Sikkema. (… or you could just call Confuse-A-Cat)

Useless Pointless Cuteness

Pug Washes Your Monitor: Here, let me get that for you… Wait, now this bit’s smeared over here… Oh, and now there’s some drool over here… Dang, this is harder than I thought… (Requires Flash)

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Cat Bounce: Pick ’em up, watch ’em bounce! Hours of amusement! Guaranteed to break the ice at parties! (Requires Flash)

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Koalas to the Max: Use your mouse to divide the circles until you see a picture of a koala. This is the most work you will ever do to see a picture of a koala.

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Found via The Useless Web.

Dreaming of You, Valentine

Dearest valentine, I love you so
Please be my love forever
I’ll hold your hand each time we sleep
And share our dreams together

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Via Reddit.

You Nose I Love You

They look down their noses at us two
And say we’re too diverse
But dog and cat can share love true
For better or for worse

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To me, our strange forbidden love
Smells sweetly as a rose
We may not see eye to eye
But we do see nose to nose

valentines-kitten-heart-nose

Bottom photo via Reddit.

What Manner of Wizardry Is This?

Eager for my daily constitutional, I open my front door and find… another door! And yet, though it appear solid, it is but a powdery substance that yields to my very touch and freezes my delicate nose! Gadzooks!

Left Shark Explains

First of all, we had like an afternoon to learn that choreography. Second, I was supposed to be on the right, and they switched us at the last minute. Anyway, Katy was really sweet about it, and she’s only making me scrub the toilets on the tour bus for a week.

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Via Adam Rifkin, who finds karma.

This Isn’t Funny, Guys

Seriously, guys. Trying to eat here. Knock it off.

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TV Shows Only Cats Can See

Mousing With the Stars — Five ferocious felines go on a rodent rampage; who will win? Join celebrity judges Jingles, Boo-boo, Princess Poofypants and special guest judge Lindsay Lohan for a rollicking hour of carnage.

Afterschool Special: Licking Licking — Within this respectable suburban community, one family must face its secret shame: Children who lick themselves there in full view of company.

Laser Kitty! — The crime-fighting cat who zaps bad guys with his glowing eyes! Tonight’s episode: “Nipped in the Bud” — Laser Kitty takes on a ruthless gang of inner-city catnip pushers.

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Via Rikki’s Refuge.

(All Right, Stay Calm, Need to Think Here…)

(OK, he’s obviously mad at me, but why? Do I owe him money? Need to stall him somehow; maybe I should say “You kill me now, you kill any chance to find the missing amulet!” But what if he’s not looking for an amulet? Still, he’ll have to think about it, and that’ll buy me some time…)

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Reservoir Cats, via solarbreeze69.

Dawgnet

Thursday, 11:25 AM: My partner and I were working the day watch out of Homicide when the call came in. It was Kimba, the White Lion. Once a beloved TV star, now lying on the cold tile of his Brentwood ranch house. The coroner had already pronounced him sleepy when we arrived. Our job: get busy with the Sharpies.

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“Here is Zuri taking a nap with his dog buddies Donald the poodle and Lana the Lab,” says sender-inner Therese C. (Apologies to Jack Webb again.)

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