Free Garlic Hairballs with Every Order!

When you want the hottest, freshest pizza fast, put down the dominoes and dial Parcheesi’s Pizza! Our patented process keeps your pizza at the purr-fect temperature!

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“Forgot to close the lid,” says Redditor k3vbomb.

Snorgler on the Orient Express

Agent Romanoff glanced furtively about. The man in the tortoise-shell glasses, pretending to read the paper — she’d seen him once before, in Tangiers. So they were onto her at last. There would be others, she knew, watching her every move. Now she would need her wits about her if she hoped to smuggle the kitten to Moscow for debriefing.

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Crash Test Cuties

Here at CuteLabs, our researchers work tirelessly to make kittens safer and more durable. In this slow-motion crash test, we see the benefits of CuteLabs’ patented BellehBuffer™ technology in helping these kittens survive a head-on collision.

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Tractor Full O’ Trouble

Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O
And on this farm he had a kitten, E-I-E-I-O
With a “meow meow” here, and a “hiss hiss” there,
And a “feed me” here, and a “change my litter box” there,
And a “I wanna go out” here, and a “I changed my mind let me back in” there…

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“I found this little girl in my garden yesterday. And then she had to go on and do this, so now I obviously have to keep her,” says Redditor ChanRancher.

Strong Am I With the Floof

A Jedi’s strength flows from the Floof. You must feel the Floof around you, between you, me, the tree, the rock, the carpeting (especially the carpeting)…

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“George caught using the Force,” via Redditor Egzo.

Attack-in-the-Box

All right, let’s make something clear: Out of all the shelter kitties, you chose me. And although I may bring certain, shall we say, baggage to the table, I expect nothing less than prompt attention to my needs: Meals on time, regular treats, a broad assortment of squeaky toys, and furniture I may claw at will. Now, do we understand one another…

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… or will you force me to unleash… HAROLD?

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“Our cat wasn’t too fond of our foster kitten but he loved the box she came in!” says Redditor DontPokeThatPlease.

Ground Control to Major Tomcat

“Roger, Houston, this is Space Cadet One on final approach. The lunar surface is just breathtaking, like a giant litter box. Which is kind of a welcome sight since we’ve been up here a while.”

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Mike S. crunches the numbers: “One kitten + one spacesuit = Awww-tronaut. Or Cat-ro-naut…or kitteh-o-naut.”

Surely You Can’t Be Serious!

This was to be his moment. After a lifetime in different cities, different jobs, not one of them showing he could accept any real responsibility, Mr. Jingles would march into that cockpit, take over the controls, and guide that doomed plane and its terrified passengers to safety. Then suddenly, the sickening realization overcame him: he too had the fish for dinner!

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Via Adam Rifkin.

We Boop Because We, Um, Something that Means “Care” but Rhymes with “Boop”

Always at the forefront of the zenith of the cutting edge of cuteness research, CuteLabs once again demonstrates its commitment to animal understanding with the development of the Bidirectional Olfactive Oscillation Pod (BOOP), engineered to precisely measure the maximum threshold of kitten nose-touching. CuteLabs: Building Safer Felines of Tomorrow… Today!

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Tiger Lifeguard Squad!

One lucky zoogoer in Tokyo caught this tense ResQte with a happy ending: Two white tiger cubs saving a sibling who fell in a pool of water. The plucky cubs just won’t give up until they pluck their pal to safety!

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