Ground Control to Major Tomcat

“Roger, Houston, this is Space Cadet One on final approach. The lunar surface is just breathtaking, like a giant litter box. Which is kind of a welcome sight since we’ve been up here a while.”

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Mike S. crunches the numbers: “One kitten + one spacesuit = Awww-tronaut. Or Cat-ro-naut…or kitteh-o-naut.”

Surely You Can’t Be Serious!

This was to be his moment. After a lifetime in different cities, different jobs, not one of them showing he could accept any real responsibility, Mr. Jingles would march into that cockpit, take over the controls, and guide that doomed plane and its terrified passengers to safety. Then suddenly, the sickening realization overcame him: he too had the fish for dinner!

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Via Adam Rifkin.

We Boop Because We, Um, Something that Means “Care” but Rhymes with “Boop”

Always at the forefront of the zenith of the cutting edge of cuteness research, CuteLabs once again demonstrates its commitment to animal understanding with the development of the Bidirectional Olfactive Oscillation Pod (BOOP), engineered to precisely measure the maximum threshold of kitten nose-touching. CuteLabs: Building Safer Felines of Tomorrow… Today!

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Tiger Lifeguard Squad!

One lucky zoogoer in Tokyo caught this tense ResQte with a happy ending: Two white tiger cubs saving a sibling who fell in a pool of water. The plucky cubs just won’t give up until they pluck their pal to safety!

Ah, I Love the Smell of Fresh-Cooked Rice…

… that sweet, starchy aroma filling the kitchen air, anticipating that first moist, sticky bite hot from my bowl… which is amazing when you consider that the thing isn’t even plugged in.

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Via Imgur.

 

How to Give a Back Rub

For young children, offering a back rub can be a thoughtful way to help a parent unwind after a hard day. For best results, follow these steps:

  1. Make sure your parent wants a back rub at this time. (Especially important if your mom is Chancellor of Germany)
  2. Retract claws.
  3. Begin at the shoulder blades, making concentric circles, gradually working down the…
  4. Excuse me, did I stutter back there? RETRACT CLAWS!

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Via Rob Bixby.

A Ripping Good Yarn

When we last met Kwanza and puppy pal Honey, they had become best friends at Darling Downs Zoo in Pilton, Queensland. Looks like they’ve started a project together: building the world’s largest ball of yarn. How’s it going, kids?

FaveFrame™!

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Thanks to Adam of CoxCreatura.

All Your Cat Questions Answered At Last!

Cats — one of Life’s great mysteries. Now, for the first time, Time-Mice Publishing brings you the Complete Cat Home Reference. This handsome reference work sits on your bookshelf and answers all your cat-related questions, such as: What are cats made of? Where do they come from? What is their purpose? Order now!

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Via Pedro Ribeiro Simões.

We’ve Got a “Hunch” You’ll Love ‘Em

Looking for a companion with true old world charm? Why not adopt a gargoyle? Long beloved by cathedral visitors, now these one-of-a-kind pets can live in your very own home. They love to perch on high places and look down on you for hours. Write to Adopt-a-Gargoyle, Ltd., c/o Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Paris, France.

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Andy Rinks can ring our bell anytime, Stephanie B.

Now How Much Wouldn’t You Pay?

Infomercials used to be a bore — but no more! Now there’s two exciting new video clips from the Animal Foundation to promote dog and cat adoption! So curl up in your Snuggie, polish your George Foreman grill with your ShamWow, Bow-Flex that dialing finger and press the play button below! As an added bonus, if you watch within the next thirty seconds, you’ll see them that much sooner! Click now!

Via AdWeek.

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