Jazz Paws!

After months of rigorous training with veteran choreographers, Fluffykins knew she was a lock to take first place in the International Kitten Freestyle Dance Competition.

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Via Adam Rifkin on Pandawhale.

The Amazing Kitten-in-a-Bottle!

Looking for a truly unique hobby idea? Anyone can build a ship in a bottle, but can you build Kitten-in-a-Bottle?™ We’ll send you everything you need: Fur, claws, pawpads, teeth, bones, and brain (not required; available in Deluxe kit only). Follow the simple instructions and — Voila! — your very own Kitten-in-a-bottle to delight and astound your friends! Order today!

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Via Emergency Kittens.

Today in Cute History

1846 — Ignoring the skepticism and ridicule of the British Explorer’s Society, J. Burpley Whiskerton spends his entire family fortune and years of tireless searching before finally discovering the fabled Island of Giant Marshmallows.

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Our cat Maja, via Vanerpaddel.

TP or Not TP?

That is the question. Although “How did somebody manage to stack this much toilet paper on a cat without it going completely mental and trying to unspool every one?” would make a good follow-up question.

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Via Reddit.

I’m Just Lion Here…

… waiting for you to rub mah belleh. You know you want to. And I know you know you want to. And you know I know you know (etc. etc.). So make with the rubbing already, I’m not getting any younger here!

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Via Frontier.

Rubik’s Qte

Well, that was easy. The whole point of this thing is to get the colors all scrambled up, right? Took me about five seconds. Honestly, I don’t see why you’re making such a fuss about it.

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Via Giles Turnbull.

At Tootsie Pop Testing Labs

Researchers attempting to solve the mystery of how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop have switched to kitties after decades of getting unreliable results from overly-clever owls.

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Via Leonard Gee.

Oh Swell, Now I’ll Need to Bring Back $5,000 Worth of Cat Food

This happens every time I take a road trip. Before I leave, I run down a mental list: Front door locked, check. Key with neighbor, check. Lights off, check. Plants watered, check. And then I’ll be halfway to where I’m going before I realize: I forgot to turn off the kitten replicator!

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Fail: It’s What’s For Dinner

Apparently, what this new-fangled fancy-pants food dispenser really needs to dispense is some wisdom.

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Via Daily Pics and Flicks.

The Fiend Beneath the Floor!

‘Twas later that evening that I heard the noises; a faint scratching, like of some small harmless insect seeking shelter, naught more. But then it grew, louder and more insistent, joined by a hideous rasp like nothing of this earth.

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“Demon! Torment me no longer!” I cried, clutching the amulet that Professor Witherspoon had entrusted to me. But the scratching grew ever louder, and the rasping voice, at first formless and incoherent, began to coalesce into human speech: “Feeeeeeed meeeeeee…”

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Via Francois Schnell.

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