Kids These Days and their Expectations

“Honey, I’m sorry they didn’t have any shopping carts shaped like racing cars. How about mommy buys you a big box of Tuna-Snax instead?”


Pretty as a Pitcher

Let’s say you have a pitcher. You could fill it up with water
And drink eight glasses every day, like experts say you oughter
Or mix a batch of lemonade, for outdoor entertaining
Some sangria to just see ya through evenings when it’s raining
Hey, margaritas would be nice, they’ll make you briefly giddy
But for delight all day and night, just fill it up with kitty!

dtAOSDm - Imgur

Via Reddit.

Paging Erwin Schrödinger

Imagine you place a kitty in a box, and then place that box in another box with another kitty. According to the theory of Qtetum Mechanics, there is a 46% chance that the kitties will be furiously whapping each other, a 72% chance they will be cuddling each other, a 19% chance they will be simultaneously whapping and cuddling, and a 218% chance they will just stare at you until you give them treats.


Via Reddit/Imgur.


Your Astral Journey Begins

As you breathe in the essences of ginger root, lavender, and Pine-Sol, your body relaxes and prepares for the projection. Next, you hear the ancient hymn of yoth’kaBleen, summoning the Ancient Spirits. Once you wear the Sacred Petals, other dimensions will unfold. Perhaps you will see mountains of pure aluminum. A menswear shop in Boise. Caesar’s Palace. No, the one in Rome. For each seeker, the journey is unique and wonderful.

I Ain’t Going Nowhere Until She Uses the Crevice Attachment

FACT: Unsightly cat hair can damage delicate and expensive computer equipment. Protect your investment with the CuteCo CatVac 3000™! (Note: For stubborn build-up, ask the cat hair to get up and leave first.)


Try Mega-Gro Plant Food!

Add “boom” to your bloom in every room! Only Mega-Gro has the added ingredient Blayvin-35, for roses that radiate, tulips that triumph, and daisies that dazzle! You won’t believe your eyes!


Via Alexander Lyubavin.

Jazz Paws!

After months of rigorous training with veteran choreographers, Fluffykins knew she was a lock to take first place in the International Kitten Freestyle Dance Competition.


Via Adam Rifkin on Pandawhale.

The Amazing Kitten-in-a-Bottle!

Looking for a truly unique hobby idea? Anyone can build a ship in a bottle, but can you build Kitten-in-a-Bottle?™ We’ll send you everything you need: Fur, claws, pawpads, teeth, bones, and brain (not required; available in Deluxe kit only). Follow the simple instructions and — Voila! — your very own Kitten-in-a-bottle to delight and astound your friends! Order today!


Via Emergency Kittens.

Today in Cute History

1846 — Ignoring the skepticism and ridicule of the British Explorer’s Society, J. Burpley Whiskerton spends his entire family fortune and years of tireless searching before finally discovering the fabled Island of Giant Marshmallows.


Our cat Maja, via Vanerpaddel.

TP or Not TP?

That is the question. Although “How did somebody manage to stack this much toilet paper on a cat without it going completely mental and trying to unspool every one?” would make a good follow-up question.


Via Reddit.


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