Kittens

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Photos: Sad Scottish Fold by Stephanie R., flickr fan by BeccaG

And finally tonight, here’s what your cats are really thinking when you’re yakking at them all baby-talk-like:

You’ll remember this famous translator from “Two Cats Talking” right Neil F.?

Nice day. Sun shining. Annoying dogs fetching. It just makes me…want…to…

...FEELING ALL THE BUMPERS, ALWAYS PLAYING CLEAN, HE PLAYS BY INTUITION, THE DIGIT COUNTERS FALL…THAT DEAF, DUMB, AND BLIND KID SURE PLAYS A MEAN PINBAAAALLLLL!

What, let me guess – you were expecting something from Cats? Please. I have way more depth than that.

He’s the master of the house, Rachel P.

Concerned citizens!  Beware the growing scourge of our nation’s kitties: Pot addiction.  This desperate craving plunges innocent kitties into a nightmare of depravity, squandering their youth in so-called “pot parties.”  Parents, does your kitty have a pot habit?  Look for these warning signs:

• Preference for squeezing into round spaces instead of boxes;
• Furtively reading gardening magazines;
• An involuntary twitching at the words mulch, sphagnum, and photosynthesis.

Our thanks to upstanding citizen Leany A.