Life Is Hard For Mildly Perturbed Cat

From his favorite spot, almost but not quite in the shade of the large oak tree, Mildly Perturbed Cat contemplates the dissatisfying state of his existence.


So many of his feline brethren have found fame and adulation on the Internet. His cousin Grumpy adorns books and T-shirts; Happy from down the block can has all the cheezburger he wants.


Yet this parade of stardom and glory passes him by. He is anonymous, forgotten, celebrated by none save for a single hack writer on an obscure cute-animal website.


Via Steve Freeman.

That Trump, He’s Such a Card

I’m telling ya, this latest meme is yooge. This meme is gonna be the biggest meme of all the memes that ever hit the Intermeme, and I’ll bet my nine billion dollar fortune on it: Cats… with hair… like mine!


I’m telling ya, it’s sweeping the nation! People using #trumpyourcat to show America what real class looks like, the kind of class that only guys with a ten-billion dollar net worth usually can afford.


Can you feel it, America? Can you smell it? That is the smell of Trumpmentum, ladies and gentlemen! So grab your cat, grab some hair trimmings, and let’s make this happen! If this ain’t the biggest thing ever, then I ain’t a man with 12 billion dollars!


Via… oh, just everybody.

Kids These Days and their Expectations

“Honey, I’m sorry they didn’t have any shopping carts shaped like racing cars. How about mommy buys you a big box of Tuna-Snax instead?”


Pretty as a Pitcher

Let’s say you have a pitcher. You could fill it up with water
And drink eight glasses every day, like experts say you oughter
Or mix a batch of lemonade, for outdoor entertaining
Some sangria to just see ya through evenings when it’s raining
Hey, margaritas would be nice, they’ll make you briefly giddy
But for delight all day and night, just fill it up with kitty!

dtAOSDm - Imgur

Via Reddit.

Paging Erwin Schrödinger

Imagine you place a kitty in a box, and then place that box in another box with another kitty. According to the theory of Qtetum Mechanics, there is a 46% chance that the kitties will be furiously whapping each other, a 72% chance they will be cuddling each other, a 19% chance they will be simultaneously whapping and cuddling, and a 218% chance they will just stare at you until you give them treats.


Via Reddit/Imgur.


Your Astral Journey Begins

As you breathe in the essences of ginger root, lavender, and Pine-Sol, your body relaxes and prepares for the projection. Next, you hear the ancient hymn of yoth’kaBleen, summoning the Ancient Spirits. Once you wear the Sacred Petals, other dimensions will unfold. Perhaps you will see mountains of pure aluminum. A menswear shop in Boise. Caesar’s Palace. No, the one in Rome. For each seeker, the journey is unique and wonderful.

I Ain’t Going Nowhere Until She Uses the Crevice Attachment

FACT: Unsightly cat hair can damage delicate and expensive computer equipment. Protect your investment with the CuteCo CatVac 3000™! (Note: For stubborn build-up, ask the cat hair to get up and leave first.)


Try Mega-Gro Plant Food!

Add “boom” to your bloom in every room! Only Mega-Gro has the added ingredient Blayvin-35, for roses that radiate, tulips that triumph, and daisies that dazzle! You won’t believe your eyes!


Via Alexander Lyubavin.

Jazz Paws!

After months of rigorous training with veteran choreographers, Fluffykins knew she was a lock to take first place in the International Kitten Freestyle Dance Competition.


Via Adam Rifkin on Pandawhale.

The Amazing Kitten-in-a-Bottle!

Looking for a truly unique hobby idea? Anyone can build a ship in a bottle, but can you build Kitten-in-a-Bottle?™ We’ll send you everything you need: Fur, claws, pawpads, teeth, bones, and brain (not required; available in Deluxe kit only). Follow the simple instructions and — Voila! — your very own Kitten-in-a-bottle to delight and astound your friends! Order today!


Via Emergency Kittens.


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