Dreaming of You, Valentine

Dearest valentine, I love you so
Please be my love forever
I’ll hold your hand each time we sleep
And share our dreams together

qJNpNaZ

Via Reddit.

You Nose I Love You

They look down their noses at us two
And say we’re too diverse
But dog and cat can share love true
For better or for worse

valentines-dog-heart-nose

To me, our strange forbidden love
Smells sweetly as a rose
We may not see eye to eye
But we do see nose to nose

valentines-kitten-heart-nose

Bottom photo via Reddit.

What Manner of Wizardry Is This?

Eager for my daily constitutional, I open my front door and find… another door! And yet, though it appear solid, it is but a powdery substance that yields to my very touch and freezes my delicate nose! Gadzooks!

Left Shark Explains

First of all, we had like an afternoon to learn that choreography. Second, I was supposed to be on the right, and they switched us at the last minute. Anyway, Katy was really sweet about it, and she’s only making me scrub the toilets on the tour bus for a week.

16246110619_09bb9f6041_o

Via Adam Rifkin, who finds karma.

This Isn’t Funny, Guys

Seriously, guys. Trying to eat here. Knock it off.

cat-on-treadmill

 

TV Shows Only Cats Can See

Mousing With the Stars — Five ferocious felines go on a rodent rampage; who will win? Join celebrity judges Jingles, Boo-boo, Princess Poofypants and special guest judge Lindsay Lohan for a rollicking hour of carnage.

Afterschool Special: Licking Licking — Within this respectable suburban community, one family must face its secret shame: Children who lick themselves there in full view of company.

Laser Kitty! — The crime-fighting cat who zaps bad guys with his glowing eyes! Tonight’s episode: “Nipped in the Bud” — Laser Kitty takes on a ruthless gang of inner-city catnip pushers.

16113135221_ec180b75f4_o

Via Rikki’s Refuge.

(All Right, Stay Calm, Need to Think Here…)

(OK, he’s obviously mad at me, but why? Do I owe him money? Need to stall him somehow; maybe I should say “You kill me now, you kill any chance to find the missing amulet!” But what if he’s not looking for an amulet? Still, he’ll have to think about it, and that’ll buy me some time…)

3108088164_b293407052_z

Reservoir Cats, via solarbreeze69.

Dawgnet

Thursday, 11:25 AM: My partner and I were working the day watch out of Homicide when the call came in. It was Kimba, the White Lion. Once a beloved TV star, now lying on the cold tile of his Brentwood ranch house. The coroner had already pronounced him sleepy when we arrived. Our job: get busy with the Sharpies.

IMG_8300

“Here is Zuri taking a nap with his dog buddies Donald the poodle and Lana the Lab,” says sender-inner Therese C. (Apologies to Jack Webb again.)

Big Budgie Is Watching You

“You were not at the Two Minutes’ Whap this afternoon,” said the voice on the telescreen. “Are you unwell?” Winston felt a knot of dread form in his stomach. To lie to Big Budgie, leader of the Party, was the most doubleplus-not-anti-opposite-of-good thing he could do, yet the suspicion that the looming face was nothing but a birdbrain consumed him. He had to think fast. He knew he wasn’t sick. He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick.

“I was out, um, buying you some nice millet seed, sir?”

budgie

“Magnus our kitten watching a budgie on TV that’s so big it seems to be watching him,” says senderplusinner Sheenagh P.

Look Deep Into My Eyes…

You are falling under the spell of my hypnotic gaze… Soon, you will be fully under my control… When you awaken, you will remember nothing, but will obediently bring me tuna and milk whenever I say the trigger word, “meow.” Of course, you were already doing that, so I’m really just hypnotizing you because I’m bored and needed a laugh, but anyway…

16184959641_82fb92fe95_z

Blue Eyes, via Hanbyul❤.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 16,006 other followers