Give it up for The Onion, People

People, the Onion is puurrrrrre genius. Please check out two kitteh-related stories;

Story #1:
Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder All Day

[Read more]

Murderrrrr

and

Story #2:

"War on String May Be Unwinnable, says Cat General"

[See original post]

General_mccattersons

Side note: "Bonkers" is the best cat name evar. ‘Cause then you can call him "Bonkie." Right Emily G.?

Holy creepy animatronics!

People, usually the Japanese HAND OUR ASSES TO US in the Cute depahtment.

But Today, I say—(In captain Kirk voice) You’ve gone… TOO FAR!

Why don’t you just STICK TO BUNNY SWEATERS!?

BTW, the best part is the tail-pull.

ALERT!

BOSS KITTEH SEZ: Only EIGHT WEEKS LEFT to shop for Halloween costumes!

Eight_weeks_left

LEOPARD KITTEH SEZ: Dress me like this and ye shall perish!

Dont_do_it

Just sayin’, Christi Y. Don’t buy the frog one!!!

Teef Checker

Bebeh: "I am zuh best denteest thees side of the meeseeseeps. Reelax and let me check your teef. [Schmooshes kitteh's face to reveal two teeny fangersons]

Checking_teefs

Yes, this kitteh is a seriously good sport, Cherie…

Proshness in the grass

I love how happy this kitteh looks.

I want to be that kitteh.

According to Sender-Inner Alisa V., this is "Mouse" the kitteh exploring.

Frakking_happy

Nice shot, Alisa V. ;)

Passive and Agressive

OMG, these two kittehs are SO BAD. First, they’re all "I Shall Leeck You" and then they’re all: "Ye Shall Perish".

[eye roll]

Passive

Typical!

Aggressive

Lentiki, these kittehs should be on the cover of Cat Psych 101.

When nature calls—on the kitchen counter

Yeah, I know I got a cleeeeeeeeeean litterbox around here somewhere. I just wanted to be able to say that I took a dump on the counter.

Ehn!

Litterbox_alternative

C.O.X.C.U./mugshot of the culprit…
Dirteh_2

Excellent white-knuckle grippage and caught-in-the-action action, Sender-Inner S.S.! An excellent example of Rule of Cuteness #32.

Discovered on the "What Housework?" blog!

Shi-cat-su Spa

[All four kitteh paws kneading puppeh furs]

Yes Sir, I think we have some bone-scented massaging oil for you. I shall work it in.

Indy_yoko

Stacy G., I can almost hear the new wave musak and smell the cucumber water from here.

I am compleeetly eenoscent of all charges!

I had no-tingks to do with the spilled milkk!—NOTINGKS I tell you!!!

Check out more winners at the Cat Contest on ASPCA.org…

// Image removed at request of owner //

Sender-Inner Annette T., way to pick out this delectable morsel!

Check out the paw floomf on this kitteh

First-time bath-taker “Coco” is also experiencing first-time paw floomfage. She’s got, like, built-in leg warmers, Girls!Jealous!?

Paw_floomf

Nadia—you’re a maniac.

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