The Something in the Something

To:     Meg
From: NTMTOM
Re:     Kitten Photos

Thank you so much for sharing the adorable photos of the kitten reclining in the baseball cap.  I quite concur, they are among the most charming I’ve ever seen, and I shall endeavor to post them as soon as possible.  But unfortunately, at the moment — and I find this a trifle embarrassing to admit — I seem to have the most damnable case of writer’s block.  Surely, I reason, there must be a pithy way to summarize this scene in my inimitable fashion — "The Feline in the Headgear," perhaps, or "The Calico in the Cap" — but alas, the harder I search for it, the more it eludes me.

Sheesh, is this idiot for real?

But nonetheless, I am undaunted. Perseverance is my life’s blood, and excelsior my motto.  If it takes me all evening, I shall craft a missive possessing of that elusive spark of wit your readers have come to expect.

Yeah, you do that, Shakespeare.

Thank you for playing Stump the Writer, Amy Lee B.

[How about "The Tom in the Toque?" - Ed.]

Mews + Stubbularness = <3

What am I, a 12-year-old girl with that kind of blog post title!?!? WAIT Don’t answer that!!!

P to the U to the R to the R, Sparky B. >^.•.^< OMG, Pon1es!

At the Tuscadero State Asylum for Supervillains

"Exxxxxxxx-cellent!  My hypno-mind-control ray is almost complete.  The fools at the science academy, they all said that I was mad — MAD, I tell you!  But soon they ALL will bow down before me!  MWAH-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa!"

... and we can start with that orderly who keeps short-sheeting my bed.

Might want to up the dosage a little, Tiffany G.

Biscuits will be a-ready soon!

Just gotta knead the dough a liiiiiiiiiiiiittle more.

This is my a-faaaaaaavorite recipe.

Bill S., just like a-Grandma used to make!

Obsequious, Yet Austere

NEW YORK — The Shreikmann Galleries are pleased to announce their acquisition of the latest work from master surrealist Eduardo "Pickles" Passollini.  Entitled Eternal Abyss of Sorrow and Nothingness, Number Seven (oil on canvas, $7,450), the piece continues Passollini’s fascination with the theme of Order versus Chaos, juxtaposing disorientingly random lines and colors with stern symbols of authority, once again the Giant Hand.

The piece will join other recent Passollini offerings, such as Swirling Vortex of Inescapable Suffering (mixed media, $12,500) and We’re All Doomed, It’s Hopeless, Somebody Just Kill Me Already (toothpaste on corrugated cardboard, $37,000).

I CAN HAS CUBISM?

I don’t know much about what I like, Johanna S., but I know about art.

NO STINKEH PUPPEHS ALLOWED at Cat Club!

Oh yeah? well guess WHAT? NO PUPPEHS are allowed in OUR cat fort! Not a single puppeh.

[Kittehs do secret handshake to show solidarity] That’s right. High Five.

[In unison] By the Knights of Kittenden, we pinkie swear to keep all puppehs OUT and pelt them with water balloons if they, like dare to get in.

Kitteh_club

Open the trap door, I’m going down to get us some Cokes, Jaclyn

[Photo seen at ICanHasCheezburger... - Ed.]

RED PANDA adopted by generous kitteh

Puhlease, People, get a load of this. MSNBC is reporting A baby RED PANDA (there is really no cuter animal on earth ‘cept maybe a hamster/pomeranian cross) was adopted by a domestic kitteh with four kittens. Let the interspecies snorgling BEGIN! [hands in air outstretched triumphantly]

6772adae65f64bf7a43eab810e73d6ferp4

Glurping AND tiny ear action:

Par2054187rp420x400

And, JUUSSST in case you forgot what a red panda looks like, our very fave photo of a red panda with Japanese school-girl stance:

Rpctgy

Baby red panda and Mom from ARTIS/AFP/Getty Images… :D

//UPDATE!// More on CNN:

Redpanduh

Soooooo demanding [eye roll]

Listen, SPECIAL, RARE kittehs like us deserve SPECIAL treatment.

My brother and I REQUIRE cashmere pajamas, Business class or better, salad dressing on the side, mimosas at 8AM, claw trim and paint on Tuesdays, whisker whitening on Thursdays and kitten formula and hamburger every three hours. With a parsley garnish. DON’T FORGET THE PARSLEY GARNISH!

// Photo removed by request //

Geeshe, Sender-Inner Lisa K.! You’re SO caving to all their demands immediately! Photo by Geoff Howe/Canadian Press. Demanding tigerlettes are touring the Saskatoon Zoo.

Jeffery Catzenberg Takes a Meeting

"First, call DiCaprio and tell him he’s perfect for the part of young Ben Franklin.  Then, call the Props Department and get me the biggest WWII dirigible they got.  And tell the writer we need to cut the Roman orgy sequence if we want that PG-13 rating."

Hang on, I've got NTMTOM Cruise on line five.

I’ll have my people text your people, Joelle.

We’re Like This!

"Me and Oliver?  Oh yeah yeah, sure sure, we get along just fine, no problems.  Nope, no problems at all.  Gentle as a lamb, he is.  Wouldn’t hurt a fly, lord love ‘im.  He’s my best friend, he is, honestly!"

       help.

It’s a marriage made in Heaven, Emily F.

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