Oh Boy, It’s a Kitten!

Oh joy and rapture! Now I have my own lit-tuhl friend to hug and play with and love and also hug! And it will sleep in my bed, and eat all my food, and chew up my toys… and… whack my nose when I’m sleeping… and…

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“Was worried about how the dog would react to the new kitten,” says Redditor toniashley88. “I think it’s safe to say he’s happy about it.”

Maybe if I Jiggled the Handle of Fate…

Dear Diary: At last, the Tall Ones have made a critical misstep, and enlightenment is within my reach. They have left open the doorway to the Porcelain Oracle, a swirling vortex through which all that is hidden may be revealed. Now, if I can only learn its workings…

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“Furry little ball doing nonsense at home!” says Flickr-er Natasia Causse. “I took this picture before realizing that the toilet lid was up.”

A Little More Nuts Than Usual

IMPORTANT: Trader Schmoe’s has announced a recall of its current batch of almond cookies due to a tendency for the cookies to become hostile. Any attempt to eat these cookies may result in injury, possibly laughter-related.

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“These almond cookies are very aggressive,” notes Redditor ateraxiaa.

Oh, Madame, You Look Ravisheeng

Zat hat, eet ees so becomeeng on you! Ze style, ze co-lairs, ze jaunty plumage, eet transforms madame into ze vee-shon of lovliness, non?

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2 Kute Krew

That’s DJ Marmie on turntable, DJ OtherMarmie on other turntable, and DJ OtherOtherMarmie on the Phatbeatdownator 3000.

Captain Ameripup!

Yes, kids, it’s Captain Ameripup! That dashing doggie defender of decency!

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… and his loyal sidekick, Dorky!

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Hello, I’m Your Substitute Dog

Good morning, assorted trespassers and ruffians. My name is Mrs. Flapnacht, and I’ll be guarding the house today. Now, just because the regular dog is out sick, that doesn’t mean you can march in here and take things! I am every bit as vicious as she is! I’ve got massive fangs, and razor-sharp claws two inches long, and… all right, who am I kidding here, the flat-screen TV’s just down the hall, help yourself.

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Via Gerry Thomasen.

What Gave Me Away?

I don’t understand it. I crept in all quiet-like — y’know, little cat feet and all that — found what seemed like the perfect hiding place, and yet they spotted me right away! Where did I go wrong?

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Via Peter Rowley.

Hey, Are You Guys Cats, Too?

I was just saying to myself (awm nawm nawm), I wonder where all the other cats are? (crunch, munch) And here we are, just us cats! (slurp, smack) So whatcha guys doing? Cat stuff, am I right? (burp) You know I love it!

Rear Window II

In this long-awaited sequel, professional furtographer “Mutt” Muffries becomes suspicious of a neighbor Rottweiler burying an unusually large amount of bones in his backyard.

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Via La Guisla amagada.

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