On the Next Episode of “Real Penguins of the Jersey Shore”…

You get a nice look, guy? You get a big ol’ eyeful? You trying to get her name? Well, her name is Mine, understand? Why don’t you just step off before I peck your face in, a’ight?

Once again, Gary forgot the key element when flashing...his trench coat.

Penguins wearing wife beaters and black chains are always trouble, Sarah W.

Encore (Kinda): Orangutan and Hound

A while back, Meg featured some orangumazing photos of Suryia and Roscoe, the orangutan and hound-dog buddies.  Now, thanks to sender-inner Marilyn T., you can see the heartwarming story of how they met.  On your mark, get set, awwww!

And the winner is….

NOM-VEMBER!*

OK, it was frakking close, we can celebrate both.

This is the Overload afterall. BRING IT ON!

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Thanks for finally making a call, Sarah L. (who’s never met a Vervet monkeh she didn’t like) *As of press time, ‘Nom-vember was barely squeaking by at 49%, People!

Like My New Perfume?

It’s called “Delirious,” essence of rotting leaves with just a hint of dead squirrel. The saleslady at Macy’s spritzed me with some, and I just had to have it!

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Eau de humanity, Micah C.

That’ll Do Pig, That’ll Do

Winnie the Pig had a date. A hot date. It was his first in weeks, and since he wasn’t about to go and blow it, he had to make sure everything was just right. So obviously, he brought in reinforcements:

Listen, if it was your intention to bathe in Drakkar Noir and possibly kill your date with cheesiness, then you exceeded expectations. I mean, I think my nose may have stopped twitching.

I'm not one to talk about unmanicured feets, but it looks like you stepped in a dozen marshmallows.

Here’s the thing: It looks like Arthur Fonzarelli took a greased comb to your hair, and yet it doesn’t occur to you to pluck a nose hair? It’s surprising considering they’re practically hindering your eyesight.

Just because you go over your fur with a fine tooth comb doesn't mean you have to turn your nose up at me.

Here’s to the partnership, Maria L.

Sunday Schnozzle Snooze

Schnozzle to Schnozzle, on a Sunday. Schweet.

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Don’t make me say “Schnozzhance” because you know I will:

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Stephanie M. I like to think there are tiny Z’s co-mingling, coming from each of their noses

Get it on

On their quest to find endangered ani-pals, BBC zoologist and reporter Mark Carwardine get entangled with a frisky parrot. Hilarious hijinks ensue!

“Indeed, Suh.” (Say in Stephen Fry Jeeves and Wooster voice)

Available at fine pet stores everywhere.

He was there, and I here. Everyday. My mind was on him. Constantly.

Do you miss me?

My master, he could do no wrong. My unconditional love was infinitely unambiguous.

Unquestionably so!

Would he always be mine? Time would tell…

Why is that small blue dog interfering with my snuggle time.

There are many loves, but only one obsession: Canine Klein’s Obsession.

Ahh, the smell of it, Aubrey A.

I Think Stephen Colbert Hacked This Post

Samantha and Honey Bear, sittin’ in a tree!
Kay-Eye-Ess-Ess-Eye-Enn-GEE!
First comes love, then comes marriage,
Then comes a baby in a baby carriage the blood-curdling screams of AGONY at the razor-sharp claws of a godless KILLING MACHINE!!!1!  AUUUGGGHHH!!!

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Snorgling machine is more like it, Samantha B.

Urgent Health Action Alert Bulletin!

Attention all pigs!  There is an elevated risk of a deadly strain of “girl flu.”  If not treated early, girl flu can lead to death, or in extreme cases, cooties.   Pigs are urged to avoid prolonged contact with girls, and also avoid activities which may weaken the immune system, such as shopping or watching romantic comedies.

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Did somebody lose a bet, Florence A.?

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