Science Develops Magnetic Pomeranian!

Our energy problems are solved! Check out this pup, with magnetic powers so strong, she can attract a baby monkey at 50 feet! All we need is one Magneto-Pom™ surrounded by an army of baby monkeys running on treadmills!

We’ll go halvsies with you on the patent rights, Lani.

Armed and Fluffy

*ALERT* This is an all-points bulletin – Please be on the look-out for a suspect of smaller build, answers to the name “Scoop” and is known to use the alias “Smooches DeLuca”.  Suspect is wanted for string of heinous drive-by lickings.

Crime is really on the rise, Kaley B.

Well, Somebody Forgot to Moisturize

“Goodness, honey, (slurp) you’re just as dry as a (slurp) little ol’ piece of sandpaper, (slurp) I do de-clay-yuh! Are you (slurp) wearing enough sunscreen, dearie?”

Tonguetastic Christina S. shot this one.

New from Ikea

SNÖRG stacking pets enliven any home, yet stack neatly away when not in use. Available in assorted colors (grey/tan pictured). Also available: HÖP stacking bunny, SQUËK stacking mouse, MÏCRÔB stacking single-celled organism.

Can I borrow your Allen wrench, Robin R.? (via here)

I’ve got your nose!

“Hello, doctor? Yes, I’d like to make an appointment; it seems I’ve developed a small ungulate on my nose.”

Sender-inner Sean F. forwarded the above picture to the C.O. Facebook page.

Do You Mind?!

We’re trying to have a serious discussion about contemporary things here, so why don’t you take that camera somewhere else like a good boy?

No? Fine, you twisted little perv, be that way… (slurp, slurp, slurpity slurp…)

Via Nothing to Do With Arbroath.
Spotted by Theresa!

I’ll Stick My Neck Out For You

What’s the deal between giraffes and ostriches? Must be the necks, because this isn’t the first time we’ve seen unlikely friends like these.  In this case, it’s Bea (left) and Wilma, best gal-pals at Busch Gardens Tampa Bay.

I predict a loooooooong friendship, Lauren S.

A+ for Gorilla School

This just in from Chief Sister Officer. Excerpt is from Aqua Vita Films:

“In the African jungle, conservationist Damian Aspinall searches for Kwibi, a lowland gorilla he hasn’t seen for 5 years. Kwibi grew up with Damian at his Howletts Wild Animal Park in England. When he was five, he was released into the forests of Gabon, West Africa as part of conservation programme to re-introduce gorillas back into the wild. Now Kwibi’s 10 years old, much bigger and stronger. Will Damian find him? Will Kwibi attack him?”

What a remarkable encounter. Want to know more? You can adopt a Gorilla School baby here.

Question for you

Do we have a “Hams ‘n’ Racks” category yet?

Colette C. thinks we should.

Next Week, on The Guiding Leash

Dr. Flangstone reveals to Jessica that her sex-change reversal surgery has left her legally genderless. Meanwhile, aspiring evil real estate tycoon Blake van Drake accidentally forecloses on a casino and turns it into a day-care center.

While across town, in the sanguine Boogerman household, young Timmy Boogerman begins to suspect that he may have been adopted…

OK, the real story, from the Daily Breeze: A dog rescue volunteer took home an added bonus with her chihuahua mom and pups — an orphan kitten who started to nurse right along with his new brothers and sisters.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 17,724 other followers