Brain freeze! Brain freeze!

Apparently Ginge never learned the most important lesson from “A Christmas Story”:

“I weewy, weewy wish you had wahned me about dis befuhand.

It’s all in Good Humor, Maria F.

[To a very few folks out there: Stand down, people. Please. We do understand chocolate isn’t pet food. This kitten is taking small licks of the ice cream, not mawing a pound of baker’s semi-sweet. And to the rest of you, carry on. ;) – Ed.]

The pom-tastic part of this balanced breakfast!

Hey, kids! For a limited time, you’ll find a free puppy inside every specially-marked box of Sugar-Spackled Cracklin’ Soy Smacks! Collect the whole set!

Yay!  It’s Mick, our favorite sled dog, courtesy once again of Mardell C.


Caught mid-air and sent to us by the fabulous May-Li K.

To Serve Pug

Slowly, hesitantly, Olive arrived at a disturbing new theory: The intentions of the alien visitors were not as benevolent as had been originally claimed.

Save us a leg, Heidi A.

Clive Kills the Mood

“Dammit, Clive! Whisper – whisper! – sweet nothings in my ear!”

Clive wasn’t picking up what she was throwing down, Chris V. via Wildpark Lüneburger Heide

And now, time for “The Avian Gourmet”

For the bird of refined tastes, a glorious afternoon’s cracker-tasting is one of life’s most sumptuous pleasures. The heady aroma of the wheat, the piquant delight of the perfectly roasted sesame seed — these infuse the soul with inspiration.

Having said this, it must be confessed that the standard concoction of flour and salt possesses a consistency as dry as one’s own Rabelaisian wit. So one must rejuvenate the palate between courses and ready it for the wonders yet to come.

While many of my colleagues are partial to a mild sorbet for this purpose, I prefer going straight to the source: Nature’s bounty, in this case, a succulent strawberry. The juice should not be too tart; we wish to cleanse the palate, not strip-mine it.

Also, an attendant with a napkin is usually advisable at this stage…

“The Avian Gourmet” is brought to you by the generous support of Emilie C. and viewers like you.




Call it a hunch, Elizabeth B., but I think Mollie would like that pupcake.

Best dog birthday “cake” ever

People, why are you wasting your precious time making actual cakes for your dog’s birthday when you know all they want is an awesome sausage with a candle in it?

Yanhg, yanhg, yanhg:

Sender-Inner Dorota says her pup Amy is almost a purebred weiner dog but calls her “95% daschund 5% mystery LOL”

I’ll Also Need a Booster Seat and a Step Ladder, Thanks

Famed critic Anton made a surprise visit to Le’zard and ordered the oddly-paired beluga-stuffed roasted root vegetable appetizer. While delicious, he did have one criticism: the portions were a bit large.

No elbows on the table, but feets are allowed, MissyPantOne?

Perhaps You’re Unfamiliar with the Term “Cookie”

After sitting patiently and staring intently for well over 2 minutes, Earl finally received his treat; but as soon as he took a bite, panic took over:

“What do I taste here…Carrots? Zucchini? Tofu? Wheat Germ?”

‘C’ is for cookie and it’s good enough for – COOOOKIE! yum-yum-yum-yum-yum…

Thanks, Atroxi, and more Earl here!


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