Posts tagged as: I’m Going to Eat You

And now, Garden Gab with Gertie Glotz

March 15, 2010 By

Greetings, green-thumbers! Last week, we learned how to dislodge a cactus from your backside, but this week it’s time to welcome the first blooms of spring!

When transplanting, be careful to (Psst! We’re taping a show here)… Soil should contain generous amounts of (If you’re hungry, there’s a buffet at the crafts table)… Water thoroughly, taking care to (Look, I’m not telling you again!)… Finally, using a trowel… (Call security!)

Brooke B. says: “So here I was, snapping some pics of the first flowers of spring, and what do I see? Trouble! That’s our cat, Honey, trying to nom on my flowers!”

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Oh My God, That Pumpkin Ate Kitty!

March 13, 2010 By

October 31st, 2009…

March 12, 2010…

OH-MY-GOD-I-CAN’T-EAT-ANOTHER-FREAKING-PUMPKIN-SEED-SOMEONE-LET-ME-OUT-OF-THIS-OF-PSYCHOTIC-GOURD!!!!!

That is one crafty pumpkin. In fact, even its expression changed, Julie S. Photo by Brad Mears.

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Cat, trapped in refrigerator, eats own foot

March 9, 2010 By

Yes, it’s another “Airplane!” reference (it was just on TV Friday night). I suppose naming the cat Taters just made the foot seem even more delicious, Misty C.

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Brain freeze! Brain freeze!

March 7, 2010 By

Apparently Ginge never learned the most important lesson from “A Christmas Story”:

“I weewy, weewy wish you had wahned me about dis befuhand.“

It’s all in Good Humor, Maria F.

[To a very few folks out there: Stand down, people. Please. We do understand chocolate isn't pet food. This kitten is taking small licks of the ice cream, not mawing a pound of baker's semi-sweet. And to the rest of you, carry on. ;) - Ed.]

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The pom-tastic part of this balanced breakfast!

March 3, 2010 By

Hey, kids! For a limited time, you’ll find a free puppy inside every specially-marked box of Sugar-Spackled Cracklin’ Soy Smacks! Collect the whole set!

Yay!  It’s Mick, our favorite sled dog, courtesy once again of Mardell C.

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THIS JUST IN: Air Noms

March 2, 2010 By

Caught mid-air and sent to us by the fabulous May-Li K.

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To Serve Pug

February 22, 2010 By

Slowly, hesitantly, Olive arrived at a disturbing new theory: The intentions of the alien visitors were not as benevolent as had been originally claimed.

Save us a leg, Heidi A.

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Clive Kills the Mood

February 18, 2010 By

“Dammit, Clive! Whisper – whisper! – sweet nothings in my ear!”

Clive wasn’t picking up what she was throwing down, Chris V. via Wildpark Lüneburger Heide


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And now, time for “The Avian Gourmet”

February 10, 2010 By

For the bird of refined tastes, a glorious afternoon’s cracker-tasting is one of life’s most sumptuous pleasures. The heady aroma of the wheat, the piquant delight of the perfectly roasted sesame seed — these infuse the soul with inspiration.

Having said this, it must be confessed that the standard concoction of flour and salt possesses a consistency as dry as one’s own Rabelaisian wit. So one must rejuvenate the palate between courses and ready it for the wonders yet to come.

While many of my colleagues are partial to a mild sorbet for this purpose, I prefer going straight to the source: Nature’s bounty, in this case, a succulent strawberry. The juice should not be too tart; we wish to cleanse the palate, not strip-mine it.

Also, an attendant with a napkin is usually advisable at this stage…

“The Avian Gourmet” is brought to you by the generous support of Emilie C. and viewers like you.

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WAAAAAAAAAAA

February 9, 2010 By

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!

Call it a hunch, Elizabeth B., but I think Mollie would like that pupcake.

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