With a name like Rear Admiral Carl Ludpig von Piggy Pants (actual name, People), you’re already so over-the-top, that you don’t need a creative caption.
Without further ado, meet Carl. He likes celery.
Carl 3, Celery 0, Kerry K.
Posts tagged as: I’m Going to Eat You
Holiday pupcakes are almost done
December 16, 2009 By
Der teh der. Will juuuuust take a moment.
Ding! Tanguera, they’re…ready?
Double Scoop Mint Chip with hamster topping coming up
December 7, 2009 By
I assume you want chocolate sauce over the whole thing?
Say yes, Nehama V.!
The Sloths Go to Disney World
December 4, 2009 By
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Sloths loved the rides that took minimal exertion. And for that reason, The Mad Hatter’s Tea Cups were a big hit:
“After this, I want to sink my claws into Mr. Toad and His Wild Ride!”
And while the mini-Sloths were riding away, the adults hit up EPCOT. First stop: Swiss Chard. Hydroponics.
Are you happy now, Stacy?
There’s A New Chef in Town
November 13, 2009 By
First of all, just looking around in here, I can tell that I’m gonna need the 12-quart stock pot. It will run you about 600 bones, but I don’t want to hear it. Oh, don’t give me that look – I’ll have my sous chef wash out the pot.
Second, what’s with the beans? Don’t get me wrong, I’m brilliant, so I’ll be able to whip up something exquisite for your guests, but where’s the veg? Would something a little leafy in the pantry kill you? And don’t get me started on your electric cook top. I don’t know how you expect me to cook in these conditions.
Joan of Arc Spicy Chili Beans, Kate O.?
Oh, I’ll Wait
November 11, 2009 By
Heeerrrrrre, birdie, birdie, birdie. At some point, you’re going to need a drink of this niiiice water I brought you. Maybe not in the next minute, maybe not in the next hour. But I’ve got alllllll day, boys, and you’re the only thing on my calendar.
The early cat gets the bird, Karen M.
Night of the Living Meerkats
October 31, 2009 By
Over here, guys! Brains! Braaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnns!
Braiiiinnnssss? BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNSSSSS!!!!
Sorry, no more braaaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnsss…
From Halloween at the Bristol Gardens Zoo. Photos by Matt Cardy/Getty Images.
That Little Hangy Thing Looks Like Fun
October 30, 2009 By
Yeah, I don’t see a canary down there, so it looks like you’ll be OK. But again, that scenario typically applies to coal mines only, so I’d advise you to see a medical professional for a second opinion.
I hope you’re not allergic to floof, Allison L.
The Neighborhood Will Never Be the Same
October 30, 2009 By
Willard and Wanda Worrywart were, perhaps predictably, two nervous nellies to be begin with. Willard often compulsively paced in circles, while Wanda fretted over the smallest disruptions.
But in recent days, the Worrywarts often found themselves on the verge of suffering full-blown panic attacks. Their mental states were deteriorating, and Willard was especially affected.
It was their new neighbor; he was bizarre, and frankly, terrifying. It was like living in an episode of the Twilight Zone.
They had no one to complain to, so they were forced to endure the daily harassment. Neither Willard nor Wanda knew how long they’d last. But they knew one thing for certain: When they woke up, he would be there.
Call some therapists, Vicki C. and Regina C.
Friday Haiku: Gotta Have My Pops!
October 23, 2009 By
Sweetness meets sweetness
Will your haiku stay crunchy
Even within milk?
Dig ‘em, Megan G. (No, wait, that’s Smacks.)
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