A Consumer Complaint

Dear Chew-Eez Toy Company:

I wish to complain about your “Lifelike Puppy Tail” chew toy. While the item is indeed lifelike, I have lately noticed that it causes me much discomfort while in use.

Therefore, I shall be abandoning your company and its products in favor of the offerings of your competitor, Amalgamated Rope, Inc. Good day.

Shannon O. sez: “I have a 2 year old Pug/Jack Russell mix. His name is Jack. I hope you find him as adorable as me and my family do!”