Do You Have that Feline Feeling?

Are you one of the nearly 1 in 50 women who suffer from CHS (cat head syndrome)? Look for any of these warning signs:

  • Sudden urge to lick arms and legs
  • Unnatural attraction to string
  • Random alternating feelings of listlessness, hyperactivity, curiosity, indifference, pudding
  • Gigantic cat head

Fortunately there’s Meowlitra™, the once-tri-semi-daily pill clinically almost proven to reverse the effects of CHS. Ask your doctor if Meowlitra is right for you, and keep changing doctors until you find one who says yes, then… Be the You You Used to Be™, with Meowlitra.*

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* Side effects are mild to spicy and may include: headache, nausea, memory loss, binge chirping, temporary mono-nostril, memory loss, vertigo, stage fright, frenzy, north by northwest, phantom menace syndrome, memory loss, time travel, boogie fever, clairvoyance, chocolate stigmata, happy feet, spontaneous vegetation, and memory loss. If death occurs, reduce dosage. From Cats, Beavers and Ducks, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Global Manufactured Illness, Inc.

The Dork Knight

Because he’s the guy with a cat on his head that Gotham deserves, but not the guy with a cat on his head it needs right now…


Via Reddit.

As the great oaken door closed behind us, we stood before the Council of Catbeards

The first to speak was Nyquil of Eärewygge, the council elder. “They are but children,” sneered he, stroking his flowing white beard. “Are we to entrust our most sacred quest to the like of these quibullous squatlings?”

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“Poppyrot and balderstuff!” roared Hieronymous Thalidomide. “Small they may be, but large in spirit, ’tis plain to see. Their valor shall make proud this council.”

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“Besides,” added Gleevec Beaverbalm, “they’re just going to the delicatessen.”

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Via Catbeards on Tumblr and also Reddit.

Dueling Banjowls

And now, buckaroos, it’s time for Bark Owens and Roy “Good Boy” Clark as Pickin’ and Grinnin’ (and Scratchin’ and Bitin’).

♬ Booorn to Be Wiiild! ♫

Get your motor runnin’
Head out on a Jet Ski
Mah human better ride good
Or I’m gonna end up wetski

Hello, Ladies.

Look at your man. Now back to me. Now look at my thumb. Gee, you’re dumb. Back to me. I’m on a horse. In a rocket sled. Look again: Now I’m on a boat, in the desert, playing Stratego with Liberace. That makes no sense. Do you want your man to smell like me? Probably not, because I smell like cat box. I’m in a bag.


Stop trying to make Fitch happen, Julia G.

AH’M HON-GRAY!

Whar’s muh vittles? Ah want an extra-thick porterhouse steak, a pastrami sandwich, a couple bratwurst, a turkey leg (hold the feathers), and a bacon salad with dressing on the side. Oh, and a cheeseburger for dessert.

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That there shore is a cute pit’cher, Onkel Al.

The Island of Dr. Moreau, Part II

In this thrilling sequel to H. G. Wells’ classic tale of genetic engineering run amok, Dr. Moreau once again attempts to create human/animal hybrids, but shoots for something a little more cute this time out.


This has been a brainware3000 Production.

The Ignoble Life of the Professional Sports Mascot

I tell people what I do, and they always go wide-eyed like it’s some kinda dream job. Yeah, as if. Try sweating under forty pounds of fur and fiberglas while some dipstick in a chicken suit pounds you with a rubber mallet and then get back to me.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s not all bad. The hours are convenient. Beer’s half price. Sometimes I put on the head and drive around, y’know, just to mess with people. But seriously, if you’d told me I’d be doing this, I’d have shown up more in college.


“This is a photo bomb with my boston terrier Porkchop,” writes Katherine M.

Know Your Obscure Norse Goddesses!

Very little is written about the warrior princess SkëlärthGrøønt, who took the form of an alpaca sharing a head with a soccer mom from Keosaqua, Iowa. One ancient text refers to a similar creature intervening in battle to confound the invading Visigoths with a series of increasingly complex riddles involving buttered toast.

(AP Photo/Kerstin Joensson)

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