Know Your Obscure Norse Goddesses!

Very little is written about the warrior princess SkëlärthGrøønt, who took the form of an alpaca sharing a head with a soccer mom from Keosaqua, Iowa. One ancient text refers to a similar creature intervening in battle to confound the invading Visigoths with a series of increasingly complex riddles involving buttered toast.

(AP Photo/Kerstin Joensson)

The Impossibly Glamourous Black Fawn!

Yes, it’s Black Fawn, international jet-setting supermodel! Maker of trends, breaker of hearts, always on the go! Breakfast in London, lunch in Paris, dinner in Milan! It’s just another day in the fabulous life of… Black Fawn!

Black Fawn! She’s ready for action!

Black Fawn! She’s ready for glamour!

Black Fawn! She’s ready for romance!

Sent in by the possibly glamourous Johanna S.!

Annoying, He Is It

Ladies, wouldn’t you like to live in an opulent mansion full of poker-playing pooches and itty-bitty giraffes? Well, if you think you can handle the occasional TV night with Boris Jerkinov here, we’ll put your name on the waiting list.

Sent in by new moderator Shirpy… no, Sharpei… erm, Slurpee? Ah, heck with it.

Armed and Fluffy

*ALERT* This is an all-points bulletin – Please be on the look-out for a suspect of smaller build, answers to the name “Scoop” and is known to use the alias “Smooches DeLuca”.  Suspect is wanted for string of heinous drive-by lickings.

Crime is really on the rise, Kaley B.

THIS JUST IN: Redonk-Zedonk

Donkey up top, stripey down below. It’s a rare Zedonk, a cross between a zebra and a donkey born last Monday at Chestatee Wildlife Preserve in Georgia.

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This Little Piggy Wants His Agent

He certainly lived up to his temperamental reputation; as soon as those galoshes went on, Salami Von Cured Snout wasn’t havin’ any of the wee or the all the way home.

He reminds me of a grumpy Mary Tyler Moore, Josh N.

I’ve got your nose!

“Hello, doctor? Yes, I’d like to make an appointment; it seems I’ve developed a small ungulate on my nose.”

Sender-inner Sean F. forwarded the above picture to the C.O. Facebook page.

Day 2 of the British Open Comes to a Stop

What an unfortunate day for players and fans alike here at St. Andrews. Officials were forced to halt play just a few moments ago when the green on the crucial par-4 17th was sincerely compromised.

Can Rory McIlroy recover, Barney S.?

Join the C.O. Dangerous Sports Society!

Skydiving too sedate? Bungee jumping a bore? We’ve got the ultimate rush for today’s jaded thrill-seeker! Here’s how it works: A genuine medieval catapult (a) launches you across the Grand Canyon (b), onto a waiting trampoline (c), which propels you through a wall of flame (d) into a wading pool full of Nerf balls (e).

… oh, and there’s a certain spot on the trampoline you’ll need to avoid, too.

Is there a point to all this, Debra E.?

Say, Clark…? You didn’t by chance just use some Krazy Glue, did you?

Let me get this straight: So instead of going on my long-awaited, very important third date with Yasmine, I’m now attached to your wrist like I’m some kind of freaking bangle charm?? Dammit, Clark!

Opposite of yak attack, Eric K.